Short Takes: A

A*P*E (1976)

Producers: KM Yeung and Paul Leder
Director: Paul Leder
Screenwriters: Paul Leder & Reuben A Leder
Our Review: A*P*E: Meta-Film of a Fine Vintage

Before King Kong (1976) could even be released, Paul Leder had a parody released. What it lacks in thrills, it makes up for in charm and chutzpah. From the poster: “Defy the JAWS of a Giant Shark; demolish an Ocean Liner; vanquish Monster Reptile.” Got all the 1970s blockbusters?

Well, in case you were confused, “Not to be confused with KING KONG.” (Which just so happens won’t be in theaters for a few months, so what do you say?) A wonderfully fun film — especially if you hate Dino DeLaurentis! (And who doesn’t?)

You can see this film for free on Archive.org, but under its re-released title, Attack Of The Giant Horny Gorilla. True psychotronistas may want to get the DVD or Blu-ray, which are in 3D and include commentary tracks by filmmaker Chris Alexander.

The Abominable Dr Phibes (1971)

Producers: Ronald S Dunas and Louis M Heyward
Director: Robert Fuest
Screenwriters: William Goldstein and James Whiton

A brilliant scientist and organist Dr Phibes (Vincent Price) sets about killing everyone on the surgical team that “killed” his wife. The murders are wonderfully creative.

Joseph Cotten plays the lead surgeon with his typical charisma. Virginia North plays Phibes silent helper. A funny revenge film. Opinion is divided, but I prefer the follow-up Dr Phibes Rises Again.

The film is copyrighted. It is commercially available in many forms included as a double feature with Rises Again. But I recommend getting Vincent Price: MGM Scream Legends Collection, which also includes: Tales of Terror, Twice Told Tales, Theater of Blood (one of my all time favorites), Madhouse, and Witchfinder General.

Absentia (2011)

Producers: Morgan Peter Brown, Mike Flanagan, Justin Gordon, and Joe Wicker
Director/Screenwriter: Mike Flanagan

A recovering drug addict comes to help her sister finalize the papers to declare her missing husband dead. Just as her life is getting back together, her husband reappears, physically and emotionally abused. He says he was “underneath.” It is soon clear that there is a malevolent force that has had him and it isn’t done.

This is a modern telling of Three Billy Goats Gruff. But without the happy ending. It is one of the best low-budget films I’ve seen recently. It’s filled with conflict and lots of genuine scares. Don’t miss it.

Starring Katie Parker and Courtney Bell. With Dave Levine, Justin Gordon (Gehenna: Where Death Lives), and Morgan Peter Brown (Contracted: Phase II).

Absentia is copyrighted. It is available on DVD with a featurette, commentaries with the director & actors and director & producers, and deleted scenes. There is also a Region B/2 Blu-ray with the same extras. It is currently available on Amazon Prime.

20 October 2020

Ace High (1968)

Producers: Bino Cicogna and Giuseppe Colizzi
Director/Screenwriter: Giuseppe Colizzi
Alternate Titles: I Quattro dell’Ave Maria

Following the events in God Forgives… I Don’t! Pretty Face and Jackass return the stolen gold and leverage it into great wealth. But outlaw Cacopoulos steals it and they must find him before he gives it all away or otherwise loses it.

This is more pure comedy than the first film and generally a lot more fun because of the star.

Starring Eli Wallach (The Good, the Bad and the Ugly), Terence Hill (My Name Is Nobody), Bud Spencer (All the Way, Boys!), and Brock Peters (The Pawnbroker).

Ace High may be under copyright but there is a great print on Archive.org. It is available on DVD.

8 February 2021

The Addams Family (1964-1966)

Executive Producer: David Levy
Directors: Sidney Lanfield (48 episodes), Sidney Salkow (4), Jerry Hopper (4), Jean Yarbrough (3), Nat Perrin (1), Sidney Miller (1), Stanley Z Cherry (1), Arthur Lubin (1), and the great Arthur Hiller (1).
Screenwriters: Hannibal Coons & Harry Winkler (25 episodes), Phil Leslie (10), Keith Fowler (5), Sloan Nibley (5), and others.

A weird gothic family has adventures with the “strange” outside world, but somehow, everyone learns valuable lessons.

It’s shocking to think that this was allowed on television in the 1960s — especially the physical affection that Gomez shows Morticia; he kisses her hair at a time when married couples slept in different beds. Today, the show comes off as extremely sweet. I wish I’d grown up in that family!

Starring Carolyn Jones (Invasion of the Body Snatchers) and John Astin (The Frighteners). Featuring Jackie Coogan (The Kid), Ted Cassidy, Blossom Rock, Lisa Loring, Ken Weatherwax, and Felix Silla.

The Addams Family is copyrighted. For what must be purely commercial reasons, the show was released on disc in three volumes despite the fact that there were only two (long) seasons. It’s best just to get The Complete Series. It includes commentaries with most of the living cast members and author Stephen Cox as well as some excellent featurettes. It is on 9 two-sided DVDs. It’s never been released on Blu-ray.

The Addams Family (1991)

Producer: Scott Rudin
Director: Barry Sonnenfeld
Screenwriters: Caroline Thompson & Larry Wilson (Characters: Charles Addams)

Uncle Fester went missing 25 years earlier. Some local criminals find that one of them looks just like him. So they try to con the Addams family into thinking he is Fester so they can rob them. But fake Fester finds that he rather likes his life with the family. The resolution is just as absurd as you expect.

The CG holds up pretty well. But the acting is so great, the film doesn’t need any effects. The scene where the kids perform Shakespeare makes the whole film worth watching.

Starring Anjelica Huston (Prizzi’s Honor), Raul Julia (Kiss of the Spider Woman), and Christopher Lloyd (Taxi). Featuring: Christina Ricci (Sleepy Hollow), Judith Malina (Dog Day Afternoon), Elizabeth Wilson (Quiz Show), and Dan Hedaya (Blood Simple).

The Addams Family is under copyright. You can get it on DVD and Blu-ray. No extras to speak of. You could also get the film with Adams Family Values on DVD and Blu-ray.

Addams Family Values (1993)

Producer: Scott Rudin
Director: Barry Sonnenfeld
Screenwriter: Paul Rudnick

When Morticia has a baby, the family is forced to find a nanny. The only one willing to stay in the job is Debbie, a serial killer who plans to marry and then murder Uncle Fester. Although Fester turns out to be hard to kill, the marriage causes chaos in the family.

This is a fitting sequel to the original. The camp sequence is best remembered but it all works well.

Starring Anjelica Huston (Prizzi’s Honor), Raul Julia (Kiss of the Spider Woman), Christopher Lloyd (Taxi), and Christina Ricci (Sleepy Hollow) from the original. Also starring Joan Cusack (War, Inc). The Girl Scott from the original film, Mercedes McNab, is back in an even more annoying character.

Addams Family Values is copyrighted. You can get it on DVD and Blu-ray. You can it with the first film on DVD and Blu-ray.

The Adventures of Tintin (2011)

Producers: Steven Spielberg & Peter Jackson & Kathleen Kennedy
Director: Steven Spielberg
Screenwriters: Steven Moffat and Edgar Wright & Joe Cornish (comic: Hergé)

Hard-working reporter Tintin buys a model ship that has a secret message inside that reveals part of a treasure map. He teams with up with a ship captain to find it while dark forces work against them.

This is a fun but forgettable adventure film. The animation looks great but despite its PG rating, it’s really more of a kid’s film.

Starring the voices of Jamie Bell (6 Days), Andy Serkis (King Kong), Daniel Craig (Cowboys & Aliens), Nick Frost (Truth Seekers), and Simon Pegg (Shaun of the Dead).

The Adventures of Tintin is copyrighted. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray/DVD combo with a bunch of extras.

15 April 2021

Alabama’s Ghost (1973)

Producer/Director/Screenwriter: Fredric Hobbs
Our Review: Alabama’s Ghost

Alabama happens upon the equipment of the vaudeville magician Carter the Great. So Alabama goes to Carter’s still-living wife and takes over Carter’s act. But it turns out that she is really a vampire. And there is a whole group of vampires (including Hitler’s favorite scientist) who are going to use Alabama to take over the world. Meanwhile, Alabama is being haunted by the ghost of Carter the Great. You’ve got to see this to believe it — psychotronic nirvana!

This film has never been released on DVD. It was once released on VHS, but as I write this, the only copy available is selling for almost $2,500. I lucked upon a bootleg some time ago, so look out for it. A decent copy is available on Archive.org.

Alien (1979)

Producers: Gordon Carroll & David Giler & Walter Hill
Director: Ridley Scott
Screenwriter: Dan O’Bannon (story: Dan O’Bannon and Ronald Shusett)

The crew aboard the spaceship equivalent of a cargo ship must investigate a beacon on a nearby planet. When they investigate, a creature attacks one of the crew and attaches itself to his face. Soon, the whole crew is fighting a very nasty monster.

This is rightly a classic. It’s as good today as it was four decades ago. There is much to enjoy in the films that followed it but none of them work quite as well as this one. It’s not a must-see; it’s a must-own.

Starring Sigourney Weaver (Heartbreakers), Ian Holm (The Fifth Element), Tom Skerritt (The Dead Zone), Veronica Cartwright (Invasion of the Body Snatchers), Yaphet Kotto (The Star Chamber), John Hurt (Nineteen Eighty-Four), and Harry Dean Stanton (Escape from New York).

Alien is under copyright. It is available in endless forms. It is on DVD with director’s commentary and deleted scenes. You can get a similar Blu-ray. There is a newer 4K Blu-ray that also has a more recent commentary. You can also get the four films on Blu-ray with lots of extras.

4 October 2020

Alien 3 (1992)

Producers: Gordon Carroll & David Giler & Walter Hill
Director: David Fincher
Screenwriters: David Giler & Walter Hill and Larry Ferguson (story: Vincent Ward)

Shortly after the end of Aliens, there is a fire onboard the ship and the surviving crew is ejected. The pod lands on a penal planet with only Ripley surviving. A facehugger was onboard, which implants in a dog and so we have another monster hunt.

Of all the films, this is the one with the weakest plot. But it’s so visually stunning that it doesn’t much matter. Also: we know Ripley so well by now that it’s nice to just hang out with her. Unfortunately, one of the visual tics in this film appears in Alien Resurrection in a much more annoying way.

Starring Sigourney Weaver (Political Animals), Charles S Dutton (Gothika), Charles Dance (Terry Pratchett’s Going Postal), Brian Glover (An American Werewolf in London), and Ralph Brown (Withnail and I).

Alien 3 is under copyright. You can get it in many collections. It is available with minor extras on DVD. It’s available on Blu-ray with significant extras. If you want the longer “assembly cut” (that I haven’t seen), you need to get Alien Quadrilogy (DVD) or Alien Anthology (Blu-ray), which are frankly good ways to go anyway.

4 October 2020

Alien Resurrection (1997)

Producers: Gordon Carroll & David Giler & Walter Hill and Bill Badalato
Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet
Screenwriter: Joss Whedon

Two hundred years after the first films, the military is again experimenting with the aliens. This time, they’ve cloned Ripley. The aliens escape, of course. And everyone tries to escape. It’s more like Aliens than it is Alien.

I quite like this installment. The military and scientific personnel are so creepy. The ship that docks is filled with colorful characters. And the action sequences are really good. I could do without most of the flamboyant direction. But the haters (including Joss Whedon who should just shut up) are wrong.

Starring Sigourney Weaver (Galaxy Quest) and Winona Ryder (Beetlejuice). The rest of the cast is great and includes Ron Perlman (Quest for Fire), Dan Hedaya (Blood Simple), and Brad Dourif (Spontaneous Combustion).

Alien Resurrection is under copyright. You can get it as a bare-bones DVD but it’s way cheaper to just get a used copy of the Quadrilogy. There is a low-price Blu-ray, which is said to have a bunch of extras. Or you could get all four films on Blu-ray as the Alien Anthology, which comes with a ton of extras for all the films.

1 October 2020

Aliens (1986)

Producer: Gale Anne Hurd
Director: James Cameron
Screenwriter: James Cameron (story: James Cameron and David Giler & Walter Hill)

Fifty-seven years after the first film, Ripley’s shuttle is found. No one believes her about the alien. In fact, a colony has been on the planet for 20 years without incident. Shortly, however, all communication from the colony is cut. Ripley must return to the planet with an army unit to investigate.

Cameron took a horror film and turned it into action. That’s not a slight. In terms of raw enjoyment, this is probably the best of the lot. I think it’s too long and I especially dislike the final sequence. But I still love this film.

Starring Sigourney Weaver (Eyewitness), Michael Biehn (The Terminator), Bill Paxton (Twister), Jenette Goldstein (Near Dark), Lance Henriksen (Sasquatch), and Paul Reiser (Mad About You) in his greatest role.

Aliens is under copyright. Like all of the series, you can get it in a bunch of different forms. You can get the extended cut (which is good) with a short Cameron interview on DVD. For a bit more money, you can get it on DVD with a second disc with a bunch of featurettes. There is a cheap Blu-ray. The release cut is available on Blu-ray with a bunch of extras.

4 October 2020

The Amazing Colossal Man (1957)

Producer/Director: Bert I Gordon
Screenwriters: Mark Hanna and Bert I Gordon
Alternate Titles: The Colossal Man

Not a cult classic; a classic. There is just something about Bert I Gordon films that makes them irresistible. And with The Amazing Colossal Man everything is just perfect.

(As I write this, Gorden is alive at 96 years old. He directed his last film at 93. He’s an amazing man.)

In one way, this is a typical monster movie: a nuclear explosion creates a monster that rampages and is finally destroyed at the end. But in this case, we see the story from the perspective of the monster. He just wants to be cured. And how long can one man stand to read tiny newspapers?!

The film stars Glenn Langan (Margie) who manages to combine a clearly menacing character with pathos. Featuring: Cathy Downs (For You I Die), William Hudson (Attack of the 50 Foot Woman), and Larry Thor.

The Amazing Colossal Man is under copyright. Amazingly, it is not available on disc. You can get it on VHS for a lot of money. And you can pretty much always find it on YouTube.

America’s Most Haunted (2013)

Producer: Joe Anderson & Keith Golinski & Chris Randall & Jason Roth
Director: Chris Randall
Screenwriter: Chris Randall & Joe Anderson (story: Chris Randall)

The creators of a fake ghost-hunting show find themselves in a house with real ghosts, which they see as a great opportunity rather than a lethal threat.

This is a solid film with some genuinely scary parts to it. It features a good cast and clever script with a couple of twists.

Starring Brad Norman (Rocky and Bullwinkle), Brittany Risner (Fraternity House), David Gries (Devils in the Darkness), Joe Anderson, Dave Lyzenga, Jimmy Meritt, and Sue Ellen Pabst. James Karen (The Return of the Living Dead) has a notable role.

America’s Most Haunted is under copyright. It is available on Amazon Prime. It is also available on DVD with Bay Coven, Midnight’s Child, Daughter of Darkness, Haunted from Within.

21 December 2020

Amityville Island (2020)

Producer: Rob Hauschild
Director: Mark Polonia
Screenwriter: John Oak Dalton

A woman is taken over by a demon and kills her four children. Another women is raped at a frat party and later torches it, killing 23 boys inside. The two of them meet on death row and are sent to a secret science installation where they will be impregnated with cloned super-soldiers.

I know this all sounds bizarre. It is! Yet this is the most fulfilling of the dozen films I’ve seen by Polonia. It’s helped a lot by a smart script that doesn’t over-explain what’s going on. At the same time, why was the shark necessary? And shooting the lead twice in the same location? Nonetheless, it’s a very compelling little movie.

Starring Danielle Donahue (Bigfoot vs Zombies) and Jamie Morgan (It Kills). With Steve Diasparra (Ghost of Camp Blood), Jeff Kirkendall (Sharkenstein), and James Carolus (Jurassic Prey).

Amityville Island is under copyright. It is available on DVD.

22 July 2020

And Now the Screaming Starts! (1973)

Producers: Max Rosenberg and Milton Subotsky
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Screenwriter: Roger Marshall (novel: David Case)

A newly wed couple comes home to his estate and she is immediately haunted — most notably by a bloody hand that also rapes her. There are secrets to be revealed but no one is talking. And when they finally do they get killed by the same force.

Another excellent Amicus film. This one has the perfect combination of gore and creepy atmosphere. And the back story is horrible and reframes the film.

Starring Stephanie Beacham (Dracula AD 1972), Ian Ogilvy (Witchfinder General), and Geoffrey Whitehead. Featuring Peter Cushing (The Legend of the 7 Golden Vampires), Patrick Magee (Asylum), Herbert Lom (The Pink Panther Strikes Again), and Guy Rolfe (Dolls).

And Now the Screaming Starts! is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray both with good extras. You can also get it as The Amicus Collection along with Asylum and The Beast Must Die.

And the Devil Makes Three (2016)

Producers/Directors/Screenwriters: The Terrible Two (Samantha & Arthur Terrible)

Two friends go to a cabin in the woods to clean it out after the death of a relative. Various sounds and lights make them worried that they are being stalked. They come upon a local man camping nearby but he seems fine.

This film is a masterclass in controlling suspense. It also features minor but excellent gore and some of the best dialog I’ve heard in a micro-budget film. Note that it seems to have been re-released with a different (shorter) edit in 2020.

Starring Samantha Terrible, Arthur Terrible, and Owen Gresswell.

And the Devil Makes Three is under copyright. It seems only to be available on Amazon Prime.

5 March 2021

Angel Heart (1987)

Producers: Alan Marshall and Elliott Kastner
Director: Alan Parker
Screenwriter: Alan Parker (novel: William Hjortsberg)
Our discussion: Angel Heart Review

In 1950s New York City, a private detective is hired by a “religious loony” to find a missing person. But he soon finds himself knee-deep in Satanists with murders piling up behind him.

This is one of my favorite films. I never tire of it. It’s beautifully made and interesting on a dozen levels. And there are lots of great releases of it. So what are you waiting for?

Starring Mickey Rourke (Diner), Robert De Niro (The Deer Hunter), Lisa Bonet (The Cosby Show), and Charlotte Rampling (DOA). Blues legend Brownie McGhee plays Toots Sweet.

Angel Heart is under copyright. There are excellent DVD and Blu-ray releases with good extras. If you can play Region B/2 Blu-ray discs, it is available in 4K.

12 September 2020

Another Day, Another Man (1966)

Producer/Director/Screenwriter: Doris Wishman

A newly-wed woman takes a job as a prostitute when her husband gets sick. There’s a subplot about her long-time prostitute friend becoming pregnant and fleeing town.

Although not as good a film as Scum of the Earth (1963), it is a whole lot more erotic. Wishman has a sense for what’s sexy that Herschell Gordon Lewis lacked. And despite the bad dubbing and questionable acting, the film is surprisingly gripping. It’s also pretty arty. Wishman had a great eye.

The film features people who worked almost exclusively in the softcore porn industry of the 1960s. Of particular note are the two male supporting actors: Agustin Mayor (The Horror of Party Beach) and Wishman mainstay Sam Stewart. The stars are Barbara Kemp and Mary O’Hara.

Another Day, Another Man is copyrighted. Something Weird released it on DVD along with Bad Girls Go to Hell (1965) along with a smattering of extras.

Antrum (2018)

Producers/Directors: Michael Laicini & David Amito
Screenwriters: David Amito and Michael Laicini (story: David Amito)
Alternative titles: Antrum: The Deadliest Film Ever Made

A boy’s dog must be put to death because it attacked someone. The boy worries that the dog is now in hell so his sister takes him through the levels of the underworld to hell to save the dog.

I’m not that keen on the fake documentary part of this. But the film itself is amazing. It’s pure horror without much concern for the plot — very much like the best Italian horror. I love it.

Starring Nicole Tompkins (Caroline and the Magic Potion) and Rowan Smyth (I Believe).

Antrum is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray.

26 October 2020

Army of Darkness (1992)

Producer: Robert Tapert
Director: Sam Raimi
Screenwriters: Sam Raimi & Ivan Raimi

Ash is sent back to the Middle Ages via some time tunnel opened at the end of Evil Dead II. He is captured as an enemy combatant and thrown into a pit filled with Evil Dead things. When he survives, he becomes the only hope to rid the world of the Evil Dead. But Ash being Ash, he screws it all up.

The third of the Evil Dead trilogy, this is by far the silliest with the largest budget. For Bruce Campbell fans, it’s irresistible. For others, less so. If you loved Evil Dead II, you will love this one.

In addition to Campbell, this film features Embeth Davidtz (Junebug), Marcus Gilbert (Freebird), Ian Abercrombie (Firewalker), Timothy Patrick Quill (My Name Is Bruce), and Patricia Tallman (Night of the Living Dead). Richard Grove plays Henry the Red — the most charismatic person on the screen. I’ve never seen him anywhere else, which is odd because he seems like star material. Bridget Fonda (Single White Female) has a small role in the story frame.

Army of Darkness is copyrighted. It is available on DVD. But you should really get the 3-disc Shout! Factory Blu-ray, which is overflowing with extras including the regular, international, and director’s cuts of the film.

Army of Frankensteins (2014)

Producers: Ryan Bellgardt, Andy Swanson & Josh McKamie
Director: Ryan Bellgardt
Screenwriters: Ryan Bellgardt, Andy Swanson & Josh McKamie

A modern-day Frankenstein creates his monster but it, and dozens of others from parallel universes get sent back to the American Civil War where they are the Confederates’ best chance of winning the war.

This is a charming film with moments of very effective scares and gore. It’s also pretty funny with a wonderful take on Igor.

Featuring a cast of talented but largely unknown actors: Jordan Farris, Christian Bellgardt, John Ferguson, Rett Terrell, Raychelle McDonald, Thomas Cunningham, and Eric Gesecus as the monsters.

Army of Frankensteins is copyrighted. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray.

Asylum (1972)

Producers: Max Rosenberg and Milton Subotsky
Director: Roy Ward Baker
Screenwriters: Robert Bloch

A new doctor comes to an asylum for the incurably insane. In order to get the job, he must interview four inmates to determine which one of them used to be a doctor at the facility. We get a story of murder from each of the inmates.

This is an okay Amicus Productions film. I think they kind of mess up at the end (the twist is pretty good if not especially surprising). The House That Dripped Blood is much better. Just the same, the three stories outside the frame story are quite good and well worth your time.

Starring Robert Powell (Jesus of Nazareth) with Geoffrey Bayldon (Catweazle) and Patrick Magee (A Clockwork Orange). There are a lot of other great actors including Charlotte Rampling (DOA), Peter Cushing (Island of the Burning Damned), and Barry Morse (Space: 1999).

Asylum is copyrighted. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray with director commentary and one (DVD) or more (Blu-ray) featurettes. It is also available as The Amicus Collection along with And Now The Screaming Starts! and The Beast Must Die. It is packed with extras.

3 May 2020

At Midnight I’ll Take Your Soul (1964)

Producers: Geraldo Martins, Ilídio Martins, and Arildo Iruam
Director: Mort Briskin
Screenwriters: Magda Mei and Waldomiro França

An undertaker believes that he will be immortal if his bloodline continues. When his wife can’t have children, he kills her. And then he rapes and kills a lot more people.

This incredibly creep Brazilian film is the first in the Coffin Joe trilogy. It is in Portuguese with English subtitles.

The film is available at Archive.org in a bad but viewable print. You can get it on an all-region DVD with a few extras. It is also available as part of the Coffin Joe Trilogy (all region) with more extras.

Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012)

Producer: Roger Corman
Director: Kevin O’Neill
Screenwriter: Mike MacLean

A science nerd wants to be beautiful and popular so she takes a serum that she is working on and becomes beautiful and popular. Then she starts to grow and the evil businessmen want to steal her and the mean head cheerleader takes the serum and gets big and they fight.

Although I think you are always better off going back to Attack of the 50 Foot Woman, this version is pretty good — certainly much better than Fred Olen Ray’s opus. But it’s also kind of random. If you watch it, you should like it. You know what you’re getting, right?

Starring Jena Sims (Kill the Messenger), Olivia Alexander (Killer Eye: Halloween Haunt), Ryan Merriman (Independence Daysaster), and Sasha Jackson (Dominion). It features Sean Young (Blade Runner), Treat Williams (Prince of the City), Ted Raimi (Man with the Screaming Brain), and Mary Woronov (Night of the Comet).

Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader is copyrighted. It is available on DVD and various streaming services.

23 March 2021

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman (1958)

Producer: Bernard Woolner
Director: Nathan Hertz
Screenwriter: Mark Hanna

A giant space alien comes to Earth and turns a woman into a giant. She gets revenge on her cheating husband and his awful lover. A wonderfully fun film that I’m surprised more women haven’t embraced.

The film stars Allison Hayes (The Undead), William Hudson (The Amazing Colossal Man), and Yvette Vickers (Attack of the Giant Leeches). Featuring: George Douglas (The Snow Creature), Ken Terrell (Indestructible Man), Roy Gordon (The Wasp Woman), Frank Chase, Michael Ross, and Otto Waldis.

Attack of the 50 Foot Woman is copyrighted. There is a DVD with a commentary track where Tom Weaver interviews Yvette Vickers. It’s interesting that she seems so vibrant and yet died so lonely just a few years later.

Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995)

Producer/Director: Fred Olen Ray
Screenwriter: Steve Armogida
Alternative titles: Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds

Beauty researchers find that their miracle drug causes rats to grow enormous if they are given too much. One of their clients is a centerfold model for “Plaything Magazine.” In her competition for “Centerfold of the Year,” she takes too much and grows to be 60 feet tall.

You will get what you expect here. It’s campy with a lot of bare breasts. It isn’t tightly plotted, however. And Ray really isn’t much of a comedy director. Still, much of it is really funny. But I think you are better off with Kenneth J Hall. Evil Spawn is way sexier with better-looking women. And Ghost Writer is far more amusing with better-looking women.

Starring JJ North (Vampire Vixens from Venus), Tammy Parks (Bare Exposure), Raelyn Saalman (Bikini Academy), Ted Monte (Little Miss Magic), Tim Abell (American Bandits: Frank and Jesse James), John Lazar (Beyond the Valley of the Dolls), Michelle Bauer (Lust for Frankenstein), and John Henry Richardson (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers).

Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold is under copyright. It is available on a 4:3 DVD.

31 December 2020

Attack of the Crab Monsters (1957)

Producer/Director: Roger Corman
Screenwriter: Charles B Griffith

Scientists come to a previously irradiated island where the last group of scientists has disappeared. They discover that there are a pair of giant crabs (you might even call them monsters) who kill (or maybe “attack” is a better word) the group. When they kill someone, their consciousness becomes part of the crabs.

This is a surprisingly effective film. Sure, when we see the whole crab it looks pretty silly. But when a claw reaches in from out of screen, it works. And the mocking crab dialog is awesome!

Starring Pamela Duncan (My Gun Is Quick), Richard Garland (The Undead), and Russell Johnson (Gilligan’s Island). With Leslie Bradley (The Crimson Pirate), Mel Welles (The Little Shop of Horrors), and Richard H Cutting (The Monolith Monsters).

Attack of the Crab Monsters has an indeterminant copyright status as far as I can tell. There is a fairly bad copy on Arhice.org. The Allied Artists Classics DVD apparently features a so-so print. The way to get it is with War of the Satellites and Not of This Earth on Roger Corman’s Cult Classics Triple Feature, which includes good prints and commentaries by film nerds.

18 March 2020

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959)

Producer: Gene Corman
Director: Bernard L Kowalski
Screenwriter: Leo Gordon

An otter poacher sees an octopus-like creature in the lake that withstands 6 shotgun blasts. No one believes him but people keep disappearing. The local game warden investigates the problem.

This is one of many admirable films that MST3K has turned into a joke. It isn’t a great film, but scenes with the dead bodies floating to the surface of the water are really effective. Overall, it’s a very watchable film.

Starring Ken Clark (Special Mission Lady Chaplin), Yvette Vickers (Attack of the 50 Foot Woman), Jan Shepard (King Creole), and Tyler McVey (Lt Robin Crusoe, USN).

Attack Of The Giant Leeches may be in the public domain. There is an okay copy on Archive.org. It is available on DVD. It is also available in countless other forms.

28 February 2021

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978)

Producer: Stephen Peace with (?) John DeBello
Director: John DeBello
Screenwriters: Costa Dillon, John DeBello, and Stephen Peace

When tomatoes begin killing people all over the nation, the President jumps into action. The press secretary tries to convince the people that the attacks are not happening or at least that they don’t matter. And Mason Dixon puts together a crack team to destroy them.

This film is very much like Kentucky Fried Movie. If you don’t like one joke, another is close behind. It’s not as much an homage as I would like, but I still find it very funny, even after all these years.

Featuring David Miller, Sharon Taylor, Jack Riley (The Bob Newhart Show), and Eric Christmas (Porky’s).

Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray. They are both loaded with features including the original short film.

Attack of the Moon Zombies (2011)

Producers: Christopher R Mihm and Stephanie Mihm
Director/Screenwriter: Christopher R Mihm

At the Moon base they find an old plant that comes back to life, spews spores that kill a new member of the crew. But then, he turns into a plant zombie who similarly turns others into the same thing. The remaining crew must figure out how to escape.

Another parody by Mihm and crew, this one is pretty funny as well as being effective even apart from that. And it’s got a great Sleestak vibe going.

Starring Shannon McDonough (It Came from Another World!), Michael Cook (Terror from Beneath the Earth), Douglas Sidney (Hunting Buddies), and Sid Korpi (House of Ghosts).

Attack of the Moon Zombies is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Amazon Prime.

25 August 2020

Attack of the Puppet People (1958)

Producer/Director: Bert I Gordon
Screenwriter: George Worthing Yates
Our Review: Attack of the Puppet People

An old doll maker, Franz, develops a way to turn people into dolls. He keeps a collection of them so that he won’t be lonely. The dolls try to escape. Will Franz die sad and lonely? Maybe not if this film were made in the 1970s!

Okay, so there are no puppets in the film. And the first time I saw it, I didn’t really like it. But now I love it. It’s a well made and charming film — one of Bert I Gordon’s best.

The film stars John Hoyt (When Worlds Collide), June Kenney (Teenage Doll), and John Agar (Tarantula!). Featuring: Michael Mark (The Wasp Woman), Marlene Willis (Rockabilly Baby), and Laurie Mitchell (Queen of Outer Space).

Attack of the Puppet People appears to be in the public domain and is available on Archive.org. It is available on DVD but you are better to get the 2K Blu-ray release that comes with a commentary track by film historian Tom Weaver.

Audrey Rose (1977)

Producer: Joe Wizan and Frank De Felitta
Director: Robert Wise
Screenwriter: Frank De Felitta

A man is stalking a young couple because he believes their daughter is the reincarnation of his daughter who burned to death in a car crash 11 years earlier. And he seems to be right. The girl has night terrors where she believes she is burning to death.

This film is only barely a horror film. And it jumps all around. The beginning is solid but then we find ourselves involved in a trial and finally some past-lives hypnotism. It’s well done but the story isn’t that compelling.

Starring Marsha Mason (The Goodbye Girl), Anthony Hopkins (The Silence of the Lambs), Susan Swift (Harper Valley PTA), and John Beck (Rollerball).

Audrey Rose is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray.

1 February 2021

Avenging Force: The Scarab (2010)

Producer: Anne-Marie Frigon
Director: Brett Kelly
Screenwriter: Trevor Payer and Brett Kelly

An archeologist finds a scarab that may explain the “secret of the pyramids.” It is an amulet of great power so, of course, The Sphinx (the bad guy) wants it. The archeologist’s former student finds the scarab and becomes The Scarab.

This ultra-low-budget superhero film has a charm that makes up for what it lacks in costumes and dialog. It’s dorky, but then so is every Marvel film. The difference here is that no one thinks this film is serious. Some of the fight sequences are impressive.

The film stars a lot of Brett Kelly regulars: Mark Courneyea, Alix Pasquet, John E McLenachan, Jurgen Vollrath, Angela Parent, and Jody Haucke.

Avenging Force: The Scarab is copyrighted. You can get it on DVD with 4 trailers from Tomcat Films.

The Awakening (2011)

Producers: David M Thompson and Sarah Curtis & Julia Stannard
Director: Nick Murphy
Screenwriters: Stephen Volk and Nick Murphy

A woman who exposes fraudulent spiritualists gets a job to uncover who is pretending to be a ghost at a boys’ school. She quickly determines the problem but stays on when she finds what appears to be a real ghost.

This is an exceptionally good ghost film. The plot is complex but it never goes for unbelievable tricks. And it has genuinely scary moments. The acting is fantastic.

Starring Rebecca Hall (The Town), Dominic West (The Wire), Imelda Staunton (Peter’s Friends), and Isaac Hempstead Wright (Game of Thrones).

The Awakening is under copyright. It is available on DVD but it is much cheaper on Blu-ray with slightly better extras.

19 January 2021

The Aztec Mummy (1957)

Producer: Guillermo Calderon
Director: Rafael Portillo
Screenwriter: Alfredo Salazar (story: Guillermo Calderon and Alfredo Salazar)
Alternative titles: La Momia Azteca

A scientist finds that his girlfriend is a reincarnated Aztec princess. They use this information to find her tomb and steal an ornamental breastplate. This disturbs a mummy who comes looking for it. Meanwhile, some criminals are trying to steal it.

This film follows pretty closely to The Mummy (1932) with an odd crime subplot. It’s surprisingly good. The scene with the mummy searching the house is especially impressive.

Starring Ramón Gay (The Curse of the Aztec Mummy), Rosa Arenas (The Robot vs the Aztec Mummy), Luis Aceves Castañeda, and Crox Alvarado (The Miracle Roses).

The Aztec Mummy may be under copyright. It’s kind of hard to find. I was only able to watch a Spanish-language version. You can get it on the expensive Aztec Mummy Collection.

22 February 2021

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