Short Takes: L

LA Confidential (1997)

Producers: Arnon Milchan & Curtis Hanson & Michael Nathanson
Director: Curtis Hanson
Screenwriters: Brian Helgeland & Curtis Hanson (novel: James Ellroy)

In early 1950s Los Angeles, three very different cops become suspicious of corruption on the force. Despite not liking each other, they sort of join forces to do what is right — against all their natural instincts.

This is an engrossing and stylish noir tale with complex characters. The ending isn’t quite up to the rest of it, but the whole movie stands as a classic of the genre at a time when few films even tried.

Starring Guy Pearce (Memento), Russell Crowe (Cinderella Man), Kevin Spacey (The Usual Suspects), James Cromwell (Star Trek: First Contact), Danny DeVito (The War of the Roses), David Strathairn (Dolores Claiborne), and Kim Basinger (9½ Weeks).

LA Confidential is under copyright. It is available on DVD. The New Regency Blu-ray is usually cheaper with more extras.

17 January 2021

Lady Frankenstein (1971)

Producer/Director: Mel Welles
Screenwriter: Edward Di Lorenzo (story by Edward Di Lorenzo, Dick Randall, Mary Shelley)
Alternate titles: La Figlia di Frankenstein
Our review: A Modern Treatment of Frankenstein

Dr Frankenstein’s daughter is home from medical school. When her father is killed by the monster he creates, she becomes obsessed with continuing his work. And she’s a very kinky girl!

I love this film! The Frankenstein story has lost a lot of its impact and adding the sexual element here really ups the ante. It’s fascinating to watch her even though by the end you cheer her downfall.

Starring Rosalba Neri (The Devil’s Lover) for the first time under the name Sara Bay. With Paul Muller (A Virgin Among the Living Dead) and Joseph Cotten (Shadow of a Doubt).

Lady Frankenstein may or may not be under copyright. has a decent 4:3 print of the short version. Its questionable status may explain why so many versions of it are around. I recommend getting it with both the short and long versions of the film. You can get this with the Roger Corman Cult Classics: All-Night Marathon. If you have an all-region player, there is what looks like an excellent Blu-ray release of it from Nucleus Films.

16 August 2020

Lady Terminator (1988)

Producer: Raam Soraya (as Ram Soraya)
Director: H Tjut Djalil (as Jalil Jackson)
Screenwriter: Karr Kruinowz

The goddess Queen of the South Sea can’t find a man to satisfy her — mostly because she has an eel that lives in her vagina that bites off her lovers’ penises. On her hundredth try, the man takes the eel and turns it into a knife. This enrages the Queen who comes back as a goddess Terminator 100 years later to kill the man’s granddaughter.

This is one of my favorite films. It’s filled with sex and violence. It features several homages to scenes in the original The Terminator. And the action is over-the-top. At one point, she shoots a guy about 30 times in the chest, but before she leaves, she kicks him in the nuts. How do you not love that?!

Starring Barbara Anne Constable, Christopher J Hart, and Claudia Angelique Rademaker. None of them have been in any other films that I know of.

Lady Terminator is under copyright. Mondo Macabro has released a low-cost DVD. It features the short, 80-minute, cut but in widescreen. It has a couple of alternate scenes. Best of all, there is an untitled 25-minute documentary about the Indonesian exploitation film industry of the 1970s and 1980s.

4 September 2020

Land of the Dead (2005)

Producers: Mark Canton & Peter Grunwald & Bernie Goldman
Director/Screenwriter: George Romero

Life after the zombie apocalypse has kind of normalized into a class-based system where the rich control the poor in the usual ways. But the zombies have started learning things. They communicate with each other and even use weapons. A small group of humans wants to leave the big city and head out to Canada.

The first part of this film is kind of chaotic like The Crazies. But it comes together and focuses on a small group, which holds your attention. It’s definitely worth watching — as good as Day of the Dead.

Starring Simon Baker (The Guardian), John Leguizamo (Empire), Robert Joy (Whole New Thing), Asia Argento (Boarding Gate), Eugene Clark (TekWar), and Dennis Hopper (Blue Velvet).

Land of the Dead is copyrighted. It is available as the “unrated director’s cut” (no released cut included) on DVD and Blu-ray with good extras. Or get the Shout Factory Blu-ray with both versions and even more extras.

16 March 2021

Land Shark (2017)

Producer: Michael Raso
Director/Screenwriter: Mark Polonia

A worker at a lab finds out that it is doing secret research to allow sharks to roam on land. When she brings it to the attention of her boss, she is forced to help hunt down three sharks that have escaped.

This film has a strangely uneven tone. Much of it is played straight for laughs, which goes along with the cheesy special effects. This doesn’t integrate well with the drama portion of the film. Still, I found the comedy very funny and you will want to check out the special effects.

Starring Sarah French (Zombie Pirates), Peter Baldo, Kathryn Sue Young (Halloween Horror Tales), and Eric Spudic (Dead Clowns).

Land Shark is copyrighted. It is available on DVD.

18 July 2020

The Last Broadcast (1998)

Producers/Directors/Screenwriters: Stefan Avalos & Lance Weiler

This film presents an investigative documentary trying to show that a man convicted of killing three people is actually innocent. Halfway through the film, this is well established. Then it must find the actual murderer — or perhaps The Jersey Devil.

This is one of a couple of late-1990s found footage films to predate The Blair Witch Project. It features a much more traditional plot and abandons the found footage structure for the very end in a way that is used in Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2. Overall, an enjoyable film with a very strong second act that had me on the edge of my seat.

Starring David Beard, Jim Seward, Rein Clabbers, Michele Pulaski, and the producers Stefan Avalos and Lance Weiler.

The Last Broadcast may be under copyright, but there is an acceptable print on Archive. Better to get it on DVD or Blu-ray both with a ton of extras.

29 June 2022

The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu (2009)

Producers: Devin McGinn, Oliver Garrett, and Ashleigh Nichols
Director: Henry Saine
Screenwriter: Devin McGinn

One day, Jeff comes home to find a man who tells him that he (Jeff) is the last descendant of HP Lovecraft (even though Lovecraft had no children, a fact the movie gleefully notes) and thus humanity’s last hope against the rise of Cthulhu. Just then, Cthulhu’s minions attack and Jeff must run to keep a relic away from them.

This is a silly but fun movie filled with great performances. If you are a fan of Lovecraft, you’ll probably either love or hate it. There just isn’t much in terms of middle ground here.

Starring Kyle Davis, Devin McGinn, and Barak Hardley (The Mortuary Collection). With notable performances by Richard Riehle (Office Space), Martin Starr (Dead Snow 2: Red vs. Dead), Harry Karp, Gregg Lawrence, and Edmund Lupinski.

The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu is copyrighted. It is available on DVD with a director/actors commentary and a couple other extras. It has never been released on Blu-ray in the US.

The Last Man on Earth (1964)

Producer: Robert L Lippert
Director: Sidney Salkow
Screenwriters: Richard Matheson and William F Leicester
Alternate titles: L’ultimo Uomo Della Terra
Our review: The Last Man on Earth

This is the first and best screen version of Richard Matheson’s novel I Am Legend. The world has turned into vampires and Vincent Price is the only one left alive. So he spends his life trying to wipe them out. This film was highly influential on Night of the Living Dead. It gave me nightmares for years when I was a kid.

The film is in the public domain and has an excellent copy of it. Beware: most DVD copies are dreadful. I recommend Last Man on Earth (in color). The color isn’t great, but it works really well with the B&W zombies/vampires. And the included B&W print is exceptional.

The Last Samurai (2003)

Producers: Marshall Herskovitz & Edward Zwick & Tom Cruise & Paula A Wagner & Scott Kroopf & Tom Engelman
Director: Edward Zwick
Screenwriters: John Logan and Edward Zwick & Marshall Herskovitz (story: John Logan)

An emotionally scarred veteran of the Indian wars takes a job as a consultant to the Japanese emperor to modernize his army and fight against the old-guard samurai. He is captured and becomes aligned against the emperor’s forces.

Big budget films don’t get much better than this. It’s a very human story with a ton of great action.

Starring Tom Cruise (Minority Report), Ken Watanabe (Letters from Iwo Jima), Koyuki Kato (Pulse), Shin Koyamada (Wendy Wu: Homecoming Warrior), Timothy Spall (Secrets & Lies), and Billy Connolly (Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events).

The Last Samurai is copyrighted. It is available on DVD, Blu-ray, and Blu-ray/DVD/Digital combo with good extras.

16 March 2021

The Last Unicorn (1982)

Producers/Directors: Arthur Rankin Jr & Jules Bass
Screenwriter: Peter S Beagle (novel: Peter S Beagle)

The lone unicorn in the special unicorn place is convinced by a butterfly to go out looking for all the other unicorns who have been trapped by an evil king.

This is a widely admired film. I’m not sure why. The acting is rather good. But the script is dumb and cloying. And the animation sucks. Wizards was made in 1977, The Lord of the Rings in 1978, and American Pop in 1981. I guess what I’m saying is that Rankin and Bass should have stuck to producing and hired Ralph Bakshi.

Starring Mia Farrow (Rosemary’s Baby), Alan Arkin (Simon), Jeff Bridges (The Big Lebowski), and many other greats. This was clearly a prestige project for some reason.

The Last Unicorn is copyrighted. You can get the Enchanted Edition on DVD or Blu-ray. You can get the apparently unenchanted edition on a combo Blu-ray/DVD. Hours of Meaningful fun.

18 July 2021

The Late Night Double Feature (2014)

Producers: Christopher R Mihm and Stephanie Mihm
Director/Screenwriter: Christopher R Mihm

Two stories. The first about an interstellar spaceship that picks up an alien corpse on a planet that comes back to life and kills most of the crew. The second about an evil creature on Pluto that steals children from their rooms for its enjoyment.

More Mihm parodies, this time in the form of a double feature with intermission material. Some of it’s quite funny and other parts make me want to see Mihm do some straight horror.

Starring Cherie Gallinati, Stephanie Mihm (Queen of Snakes), Douglas Sidney (Hunting Buddies), Michael Cook (Attack of the Moon Zombies), and James Norgard (House of Ghosts).

The Late Night Double Feature is under copyright. It is available on DVD.

27 August 2020

The Lathe of Heaven (1980)

Producers/Directors: David Loxton and Fred Barzyk
Screenwriters: Roger E Swaybill and Diane English (novel: Ursula K Le Guin)

A guy’s dreams become reality. His psychologist finds out and becomes obsessed with using him to create a perfect world. But things almost never go according to plan. It could have been a great comedy. Instead, somehow, it’s a great drama.

Featuring Bruce Davison (Willard), Kevin Conway, and Margaret Avery.

The film is under copyright. You can get it on DVD, but it is currently really expensive. You can probably find it on a streaming site.

Legacy of Blood (1973)

Producer/Director: Carl Monson
Screenwriter: Eric Norden (play: Carl Monson)
Alternate titles: Blood Legacy, Will to Die

At the reading of a will, the children of a rich man learn they must spend a week at his mansion to get the money. It all seems easy until they start being murdered. You’ll probably see the first surprise coming but not the second, which doesn’t make much sense anyway.

Don’t mistake this for Legacy of Blood (1978) by Andy Mulligan. I have a soft spot for him, but if history is any measure, this film is much better. The ending is cheeky, but the murders are pretty good.

Starring John Carradine (The Grapes of Wrath), Merry Anders (Raiders From Beneath the Sea), Rodolfo Acosta (Hondo), Norman Bartold, Ivy Bethune, as well as Faith Domergue and Jeff Morrow from This Island Earth.

Legacy of Blood is under copyright. It is available on DVD. You can also get it on an Elvira’s Movie Macabre DVD with a decent print.

18 April 2020

Leprechaun (1993)

Producer: Jeffrey B Mallian
Director/Screenwriter: Mark Jones

A man manages to steal a leprechaun’s gold so the leprechaun goes on a killing spree to get his gold back.

This is an absurd and extremely fun film. It’s pretty much exactly what you would assume. I can well imagine that Irish people might find it offensive.

Starring Warwick Davis (Willow), a very young Jennifer Aniston (Friends), and Ken Olandt (Velocity Trap).

Leprechaun is copyrighted. It is available on DVD. Or you can get the whole collection on Blu-ray.

2 April 2021

Let’s Do It! (1982)

Producer/Director/Screenwriter: Bert I Gordon

A guy is so hung-up on his mother’s breastfeeding that he’s impotent with women he likes. When his girlfriend insists that they have sex, he tries to get over his problem.

This is Gordon’s second sex comedy. It isn’t as funny as the first one. But it succeeds at what it’s supposed to.

Starring Greg Bradford, Britt Helfer, and Victoria Wells.

Let’s Do It! is under copyright. It isn’t available on disc — probably because of some illegal use of footage from King Kong.

22 September 2022

Let’s Kill Ward’s Wife (2014)

Producers: James Carpinello & Scott Foley & Joe Hardesty & Patrick Wilson
Director/Screenwriter: Scott Foley

Ward’s wife is really horrible. When one of his friend sort of accidentally kills her, they all work to hide the deed. And they lived happily ever after.

This is supposed to be a dark comedy and it may work for some viewers. But the writing is weak and the direction is off. But it’s extremely well-produced with excellent performances.

Starring Patrick Wilson (Insidious), Scott Foley, Donald Faison, James Carpinello, Amy Acker, Dagmara Domińczyk (The Count of Monte Cristo), Marika Domińczyk, and Greg Grunberg. Nicollette Sheridan (Noises Off) has a small role.

Let’s Kill Ward’s Wife is under copyright. It is available on DVR and Blu-ray.

18 June 2023

Let the Wrong One In (2021)

Producers: Trisha Flood & Ruth Treacy & Julianne Forde & Michael Lavelle
Director/Screenwriter: Conor McMahon

Some Irish gals on a pre-wedding trip to Transylvania get turned into vampires. Back at home, they turn the no-good brother of Matt, a fine young man who lives with his mother and works at a grocery store. (The store is named Trolleyed, I assume a parody of UK chain Trolley using the term “trolleyed” to mean “extremely drunk.”) Anyway, poor Matt has to thread the needle and fight the vampire hordes (and hunters) while respecting his familial duties.

This is a fine horror-comedy — rarely frightening but often funny and generally very sweet. It’s worth looking for.

Starring Karl Rice, Eoin Duffy, Anthony Head (Buffy the Vampire Slayer), Lisa Haskins, and Hilda Fay.

Let the Wrong One In is under copyright. It is available on DVD but not Blu-ray. You can stream it various places — most notably on Shudder.

23 April 2023

Let Us Prey (2014)

Producers: Brendan McCarthy, John McDonnell, and Eddie Dick
Director: Brian O’Malley
Screenwriters: Fiona Watson and David Cairns

What at first seems to be a slow night at a police station turns weird and then violent when a mysterious man is brought in who sees the sins of the other inmates and officers.

This is a really effective, slow-moving horror film for the first hour. The last half-hour changes tone and becomes funny and over-the-top. With a twisted happy ending.

Starring Liam Cunningham (Game of Thrones) and Pollyanna McIntosh (The Woman). Featuring Bryan Larkin, Hanna Stanbridge, Douglas Russell, Niall Greig Fulton, Jonathan Watson, and Brian Vernel.

Let Us Prey is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray with an 11-minute making-of documentary.

13 February 2020

Lifeforce (1985)

Producers: Menahem Golan and Yoram Globus
Director: Tobe Hooper
Screenwriters: Dan O’Bannon & Don Jakoby (novel: Colin Wilson)
Alternate titles: The Space Vampires

Astronauts studying Halley’s Comet find an enormous spaceship following it. Inside, they find dead bat-creatures and three naked human-appearing creatures in suspended animation. So the astronauts take them on board, like you do. When their ship returns to Earth, the astronauts are all dead. So the authorities bring the human-appearing creatures back to Earth, like you do. And soon they are running all over London sucking the energy out of people.

This is a remarkable film. It owes a lot to the Euro-horror of the previous decade as well as the disaster films of the 1950s. I personally feel the film would have been better with a lower budget. Many things are in this film that don’t need to be like all of the onboard scenes. But it’s still thrilling and very creative.

Starring Steve Railsback (The Stunt Man), Peter Firth (Tess), Michael Gothard (The Serpent of Death), Frank Finlay (The Pianist), and Mathilda May (The Tit and the Moon). Patrick Stewart (Star Trek: The Next Generation) has a small but amusing role.

Lifeforce should be under copyright but there is a beautiful copy on Archive. It is available on a very expensive DVD with 15 minutes of deleted scenes. There is a much cheaper Shout Factory Blu-ray/DVD combo with some interviews and two commentaries. (Be careful, there is an earlier version that is far more expensive.)

11 June 2021

The Lighthouse (2019)

Producers: Rodrigo Teixeira & Jay Van Hoy & Robert Eggers & Lourenço Sant’Anna & Youree Henley
Director: Robert Eggers
Screenwriters: Robert Eggers & Max Eggers

In the late 19th century, a former lumberjack takes a contract job at a lighthouse under an old guy. They get along very much like two men in any Samuel Beckett play. The old guy is horrible and the young guy is hallucinating. And then things get worse.

This is a wonderfully atmospheric film with some interesting ideas and special effects. But all the fun elements are short-lived. It’s mostly a lot of two men talking and yelling at each other. And there are allusions if that’s your thing. But it’s great filmmaking and it leaves an impression. The last shot is worth the wait!

Starring Robert Pattinson (Cosmopolis) and Willem Dafoe (To Live and Die in LA). Valeriia Karaman is the screaming mermaid.

The Lighthouse is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray both with a 40-minute documentary, 5 minutes of deleted scenes, and a commentary with Eggers.

9 October 2021

Lisa Frankenstein (2024)

Producers: Mason Novick & Diablo Cody
Director: Zelda Williams
Screenwriter: Diablo Cody

Goth high schooler Lisa accidentally reanimates a young Victorian gentleman. But he’s missing some body parts. Lisa helps with using her sewing skills and a malfunctioning tanning bed.

Many call this film a throwback to the horror comedies of the 1980s but this isn’t true. It’s more of a horror version of a John Hughes film. It’s charming and fun and should appeal to the people it’s aimed at. Good slumber party film!

Starring Kathryn Newton, Cole Sprouse, Liza Soberano, and Henry Eikenberry. Carla Gugino (Hotel Noir) and Joe Chrest play the parents.

Lisa Frankenstein is under copyright.

18 February 2024

Little Evil (2017)

Producers: Nicholas Nesbitt and Jason Michael Berman
Director/Screenwriter: Eli Craig

Gary just got married to Samantha whose little son Lucas isn’t really keen on his step-dad. And he can cause people to kill themselves. And he tries to bury his step-dad alive. He’s the son of Satan. Literally. But maybe with enough love and understanding, he can transcend that?

This is a hilarious parody of The Omen by the writer-director of Tucker & Dale vs Evil. Ultimately, it’s kind of a family movie though. And it’s hard to miss what it’s saying about step-parenting. It’s a great film to enjoy with your friends who refuse to watch real horror films.

Starring Adam Scott (Krampus) and Evangeline Lilly (Ant-Man). Featuring Bridget Everett (Patti Cake$), Owen Atlas, and Clancy Brown (John Dies at the End). Tyler Labine (Tucker & Dale vs Evil) has a small but great part as the videographer.

Little Evil is copyrighted. It appears to only be available on Netflix, which sucks because Netflix sucks when it comes to psychotronic film.

11 July 2020

Little Monsters (2019)

Producers: Keith Calder & Jess Wu Calder and Bruna Papandrea & Steve Hutensky and Jodi Matterson
Director/Screenwriter: Abe Forsythe

A kindergarten class goes on a field trip. But a nearby military base accidentally releases their zombies. Now the children must be protected by the teacher, an uncle, and the worst children’s entertainer ever.

This film has horror elements and they are well done. But primarily, this is a romantic comedy. And much of the comedy is very sharp. The stuff with Teddy McGiggle is brilliant. But the film is also often cloying and hard to take.

Starring Lupita Nyong’o (Black Panther), Alexander England (Danger Close), and Josh Gad (Woke Up Dead).

Little Monsters is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray.

2 February 2021

The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

Producer/Director: Roger Corman
Screenwriter: Charles B Griffith

A bumbling flower shop employee grows an exotic plant to bring in business and thus ingratiate himself to his boss. But the plant demands blood and eventually flesh, which he at first accidentally provides. Soon, the shop takes off but the police are snooping around.

A witty script by the writer of A Bucket of Blood. Does anyone not like this film? I’m not sure why a remake was necessary, although it too is good.

Starring Jonathan Haze (writer of Invasion of the Star Creatures), Mel Welles (Attack of the Crab Monsters), and Jackie Joseph. Featuring Dick Miller (Matinee), Myrtle Vail, and Charles B Griffith. Jack Nicholson (The Shining) has a small part.

The Little Shop of Horrors is in the public domain. There is a good copy on You can get a better print on DVD. It contains the colorized version, which I think looks dreadful. But the original version is there and it is nicely cleaned up. It also contains another unfortunate “comedy” track by Mike Nelson, which I always take as a slap in the face. Just stick with the free copy!

23 May 2020

A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin (1971)

Producer: Edmondo Amati
Director: Lucio Fulci
Screenwriter: Lucio Fulci (story: Roberto Gianviti & Lucio Fulci)
Alternate titles: Una Lucertola con la Pelle di Donna

A woman tells her therapist about a dream in which she kills her sexy neighbor. Then the neighbor turns up dead in the same way. She is arrested but it looks increasingly like someone read her dream notes and set her up.

This is a very sexy and interesting Giallo. I’m not easily surprised by plots but this one got me. It also features a fine cast and Fulci’s usual visual style.

Starring Florinda Bolkan (The Trap), Stanley Baker (Zulu), Jean Sorel (Germinal), Silvia Monti (The Fifth Cord), Alberto de Mendoza (The Case of the Scorpion’s Tail), and Leo Genn (Green for Danger).

A Lizard in a Woman’s Skin is under copyright. It is on Blu-ray with an excellent collection of extras.

16 September 2021

Llamageddon (2018)

Producer: “Alan Smitty”
Director: “Howie Dewin”

A llama from outer space crash lands on the Earth. It has a bad attitude and many weapons it uses to kill including: biting, punching, and laser eyes. It can also spew green liquid on people and turn them into llama-humans.

This is a very funny film although it does drag a bit at the end. It was originally made as a short but extended to a 69-minute run time. Basically, it is a Chris Seaver film but funnier and without all the offensive material. It’s a lot of fun and well worth seeking out.

Starring “Jacques M Felin,” “Pinki Brainweis,” and “John Selmy.”

Llamageddon is under copyright. It is available on Amazon Prime.

8 November 2020

The Long Good Friday (1981)

Producer: John Mackenzie
Director: Barry Hanson
Screenwriter: Barrie Keeffe

Successful London gangster Harold Shand is trying to get the mafia to back a real estate deal. But when they arrive, he is under attack from what he thinks is a rival criminal organization but is really the IRA.

This film presents gangsters as they should be presented: psychopathic thugs who flatter themselves that they are civilized. It also shows that being successful does not equate to being smart. The whole thing is an indictment of Thatcherite economic policy.

The film stars Bob Hoskins (Mona Lisa) in his break-out performance. With PH Moriarty, Helen Mirren (The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover), Dave King, Bryan Marshall, Derek Thompson, Eddie Constantine (Alphaville), and Paul Freeman (Without a Clue). Pierce Brosnan (Tomorrow Never Dies) has a small role.

The Long Good Friday is copyrighted. It is available on DVD with minimal extras or with none.

28 March 2020

The Long Hair of Death (1964)

Producer: F Testa Gay
Director: Antonio Margheriti (as Anthony Dawson)
Screenwriter: Tonino Valerii as Robert Bohr (story: Ernesto Gastaldi as Julian Berry)
Alternate titles: I Lunghi Capelli Della Morte

The Long Hair of Death is a Spaghetti Gothic Horror film: Barbara Steele (Castle of Blood — same director) along with a bunch of Italians. It is set in the late 15th century. Steele plays a woman wrongly convicted of murder and burned alive. When her surviving daughter is forced to marry the real murderer she rises from the grave to stop it and take vengeance. It is a surprisingly cool film.

The film also features Halina Zalewska (Giant of the Evil Island), George Ardisson (Hercules in the Haunted World), Umberto Raho (Last Man on Earth), and Giuliano Raffaelli.

It is available from free on and other places. All the copies I’ve seen have been bad, but it doesn’t hurt that much because it does add to the gothic feel of the film. Still, if you want to see it right, you should pony up a few bucks for the Raro Video Blu-ray, which is excellent and includes a few good extras.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996)

Producers: Renny Harlin & Stephanie Austin & Shane Black
Director: Renny Harlin
Screenwriter: Shane Black

A school teacher with amnesia begins to regain her memory just as various people start to attack her. She works with a private investigator to learn the secrets of her past. Then someone kidnaps her daughter who she must save.

Not a bad little action film. It features some funny dialog, great characters, and a few set-piece scenes. It should have been a big hit but wasn’t. The title is a reference to The Long Goodbye and part of it plays on the TV when they are at the motel.

Starring Geena Davis (Beetlejuice), Samuel L Jackson (The Negotiator), Brian Cox (The Bourne Supremacy), Craig Bierko (The Thirteenth Floor), David Morse (The Slaughter Rule), and Patrick Malahide (The Inspector Alleyn Mysteries). GD Spradlin (The Formula) has a small role as POTUS.

The Long Kiss Goodnight is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray. There are lots of other releases.

31 August 2021

The Longest Yard (1974)

Producer: Albert S Ruddy
Director: Robert Aldrich
Screenwriter: Tracy Keenan Wynn (story: Albert S Ruddy)

An ex-NFL quarterback goes to prison. The warden wants him to help with his semi-pro football team made up of prison guards. The quarterback puts together a team of cons to play against them to help the semi-pro team practice. But things get very serious when it appears that the cons team might be good.

This is a very effective film. It’s hard to grok what made it funny at the time. But it still works as a genre film. It was remade in 2005 in an underrated film that is still the most watchable thing Adam Sandler has done.

Starring Burt Reynolds (Hooper), James Hampton (Hawmps!), Eddie Albert (The Dude Goes West), and Ed Lauter (Magic).

The Longest Yard is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray neither with any features.

5 November 2021

The Lords of Salem (2012)

Producers: Rob Zombie & Jason Blum & Andy Gould & Oren Peli
Director/Screenwriter: Rob Zombie

Witches from the distant past are burned alive but not before they issue a very detailed curse. And now a former junkie and current DJ are central to the fulfillment of the curse.

This film is gorgeous with a wonderful atmosphere. Unfortunately, the plot just kind of lays there. Overall, it’s like a Clive Barker film, but not as much fun. Just the same, it’s really worth watching. Rob Zombie does a beautiful job channeling a number of great directors.

Starring Sheri Moon Zombie (3 from Hell). Featuring Bruce Davison (Willard), Jeff Daniel Phillips (The Ice Cream Truck), Meg Foster (The Osterman Weekend), Judy Geeson (Fear in the Night), Patricia Quinn (The Rocky Horror Picture Show), and Dee Wallace (Cujo).

The Lords of Salem is under copyright. It is available on DVD. It is also available as a combo Blu-ray/DVD/Digital with a Rob Zombie commentary. It’s available in some other releases.

18 February 2021

Lost in Space (1965-1968)

Producer: Irwin Allen
Directors: Don Richardson, Sobey Martin, Nathan Juran, and 14 others
Screenwriters: Irwin Allen (creator), Peter Packer, Barney Slater, and 15 others

A family goes into space to colonize another world because the Earth is dying. But Dr Smith sabotages the flight leaving the spacecraft, well, lost in space. Most of the time they hang out on particular planets but they also bounce around a bit.

People remember this show as pretty campy and mostly about the adventures of Will, Dr Smith, and the Robot. But it didn’t start that way. It was a pretty serious show. By the end, it might as well have been set in a small town in rural America. It’s still a lot of fun but it might not be to younger viewers.

Starring Jonathan Harris, Bill Mumy, Guy Williams (Captain Sindbad), June Lockhart (Lassie), Angela Cartwright (The Sound of Music), Mark Goddard, and Marta Kristen (Terminal Island).

Lost in Space is under copyright. It is available in many forms. If you care, you can get the whole series on DVD. Or get it on Blu-ray with a bunch of extras.

22 November 2020

Lost in Space (1998)

Producers: Mark W Koch & Stephen Hopkins & Akiva Goldsman & Carla Fry
Director: Stephen Hopkins
Screenwriter: Akiva Goldsman

The Earth will be uninhabitable within a generation, so the Robinson family heads off to homestead a planet across the galaxy to set up a “hypergate” to transport everyone on Earth there. But the evil Dr Smith manages to screw that up, which leads to a bunch of time travel stuff.

This film isn’t as bad as many say. But it’s based on the early episodes of the series before Dr Smith was transformed into the character we all know and love. In other words: the film’s not a lot of fun. But you shouldn’t be ashamed if you love this film. It definitely has its moments.

Starring William Hurt (Altered States), Gary Oldman (Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy), Mimi Rogers (The Rapture), Heather Graham (Boogie Nights), and Matt LeBlanc (Friends).

Lost in Space is copyrighted. You can get it on DVD and Blu-ray.

22 November 2020

Love and Monsters (2020)

Producers: Shawn Levy & Dan Cohen
Director: Matthew Robinson
Screenwriters: Brian Duffield and Matthew Robinson (story: Brian Duffield)

An asteroid is going to destroy the world so we send up rockets that destroy it. Unfortunately, the rockets release chemicals that cause cold-blooded creates to grow really big. The few remaining humans are now living underground. A nerdy guy leaves his community to travel to another community where his girlfriend from seven years earlier is living.

This is yet another film with the “Here’s my nerdy self in the middle of a genre film!” conceit. It’s really well made with good acting, sets, effects, and whatnot. It’s like a less-funny Zombieland without the pleasure of seeing Bill Murray killed. See it if you must but consider this: it was almost universally praised by film critics.

Starring Dylan O’Brien (American Assassin), Jessica Henwick (Underwater), Michael Rooker (The Replacement Killers), and Dan Ewing (Occupation).

Love and Monsters is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray and other forms.

4 September 2021

Love at First Bite (1979)

Producer: Joel Freeman
Director: Stan Dragoti
Screenwriter: Robert Kaufman

The Romanian Communist Party kicks Dracula out of his castle so they can use it to train gymnasts. So he goes to America to meet a fashion model he has a crush on. While there, he battles with her sometimes boyfriend and always therapist.

This film was a huge success on its release and in my teens I found it very funny. Now, not so much. The story’s pretty good. The humor is dated. And the racism is, well, typical of its time.

Starring George Hamilton (Zorro, The Gay Blade), Richard Benjamin (The Sunshine Boys), Susan Saint James (Kate & Allie), Arte Johnson (Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In), and Dick Shawn (The Producers).

Love at First Bite is under copyright. It is available on DVD. It is also on Blu-ray along with Once Bitten.

24 February 2021

The Loved Ones (2009)

Producers: Mark Lazarus and Michael Boughen
Director/Screenwriter: Sean Byrne

Soon after turning down a shy girl who asks him to go to the school dance with her (because he is going with his established girlfriend), her father kidnaps him and they have their own “date” at her house where he is tortured and prepared for unspeakable captivity.

This is simply a brilliant film with shades of The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. It is also hard to get through. But it’s well worth experiencing for the joys of the denouement.

Starring Xavier Samuel (Frankenstein), Robin McLeavy (Backtrack), John Brumpton (Last Ride), Richard Wilson (The Proposition), Jessica McNamee (The Neighbor), Suzi Dougherty, and Victoria Thaine (The Caterpillar Wish).

The Loved Ones is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Region 0 Blu-ray with minor extras.

29 January 2021

Lovely Molly (2012)

Producers: Robin Cowie & Gregg Hale & Jane Fleming & Mark Ordesky
Director: Eduardo Sánchez
Screenwriter: Eduardo Sánchez (story: Jamie Nash)

A newlywed woman is living with her husband in the house of her dead parents. She hears things and seems to be haunted by her abusive dead father. Or maybe she’s back on drugs.

This is a really effective film with a denouement that makes little sense. I won’t spoil it but where it is going is not vague so much as incoherent. Still, for a about 40 minutes, I was rivetted. I just wish good filmmakers like Sánchez would learn that they need to partner with good screenwriters.

Starring Gretchen Lodge. With Alexandra Holden (Dead End) and Johnny Lewis (186 Dollars to Freedom).

Lovely Molly is under copyright. It is available on DVD and Blu-ray.

30 January 2021

Lust in the Dust (1985)

Producers: Allan Glaser & Tab Hunter
Director: Paul Bartel
Screenwriter: Philip John Taylor

Various people converge on an old west town looking for its famous lost gold locked in the riddle of a limerick.

This is such a fun movie. The acting is fantastic. It’s very funny and it moves along quickly.

Starring Divine (Pink Flamingos), Lainie Kazan (My Favorite Year), Tab Hunter (Damn Yankees), Geoffrey Lewis (Human Experiments), Cesar Romero (The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes), and Nedra Volz (Moving Violations).

Lust in the Dust is copyrighted. It is available on a very expensive DVD. Better to get the Blu-ray/DVD combo with 4K scans in both 1.85 and 2.35 aspect ratios. Or you can get a cropped version with Beyond Therapy on DVD.

16 June 2021

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *