Author Archives: Frank Moraes

Frank Moraes is a freelance writer and editor online and in print. He is educated as a scientist with a PhD in Atmospheric Physics. He has worked in climate science, remote sensing, throughout the computer industry, and as a college physics instructor. Find out more at About Frank Moraes.
Quentin Tarantino

A Pair of Pliers and a Blowtorch

Quentin Tarantino

Quentin Tarantino is probably the biggest plagiarist in mainstream cinema. And I do mean plagiarist. There is a great tradition of artistic allusion. Simply lifting dialog, scenes, and whole plots is different.

The way allusion works is that the writer and reader share a common vocabulary. But in the case of Tarantino, the viewer has almost certainly not seen the films he has. And that’s a shame given that they are usually remarkable films — often better than his.

Quentin Tarantino: Movie Thief

Tarantino gets away with this for two reasons, I think. First, he creates compelling films that are distinctly more than the sum of its many ripped-off parts. Second, he’s so shameless about it. It’s hard to do anything to an artist who has absolutely no sense of ethics.

The worst example of this is with Reservoir Dogs where he lifts major plot elements from the Hong Kong crime drama City on Fire. And note: that wasn’t some classic film from decades before but rather a recent film starring Chow Yun-fat and Danny Lee.

What’s more, people around Tarantino have claimed he’s stolen work from then. This claim was most notably made by Roger Avary. And it’s hard to escape the conclusion that Tarantino doesn’t even understand the issue or believes all the world is simply fodder for his genius.

Charley Varrick

If you’re like me, you really liked the phrase “a pair of pliers and a blowtorch” in Pulp Fiction. It isn’t that I’m into torture; it is just that it’s a great phrase, “I’m gonna call up a couple hard pipe-hitting niggas to go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.”

Robert Altman used to say that if you looked at the 5 best bits in any of his films, you’d find they were the results of accidents. This isn’t true, but he apparently liked to think it. But I’ve come to believe that anything I really like in a Quentin Tarantino film is actually by someone else.

About a year after seeing Pulp Fiction, I was watching TV late one night and Charley Varrick came on. It is about a bank robbery that goes wrong for unusual reasons and the consequences of them. It stars Walter Matthau in an unusual kind of star role. It’s a great film that you should really check out.

Two-thirds into the film, we get this very short bit:

That’s John Vernon delivering the line, “You know what kind of people they are. They’re gonna strip you naked and go to work on you with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch.”

Truthfully, I don’t know if the line is original to this movie; it may have been a common turn of phrase. I doubt it though; I’ve never heard it elsewhere.

The one thing I do know is that Tarantino got it from this film. Just watch the film; it is his kind of movie. And there’s nothing else in Pulp Fiction that references the line. He isn’t making a sly allusion to it. He’s just ripping it off.

Watch Beyond Quentin Tarantino

It’s actually kind of sad. Quentin Tarantino wants to make psychotronic films. But he doesn’t. He makes a particular kind of art film that is clever and easily digestible by his upper-middle-class audience. Part of that process is carving off notable moments from the psychotronic films he loves.

So his fans get to smirk at “My name’s Buck and I’m here to fuck.” But they’ll never get the experience of seeing Eaten Alive or Charley Varrick or City on Fire. Why would they need to when Tarantino rips it off for them in such a stylish package?

Quentin Tarantino at the 2010 Academy Awards by Sgt Michael Connors. It is in the public domain.

New Psychotronic Delight: Her Name Was Christa

Her Name Is Christa

I just received Her Name Was Christa — the first film that James L Edwards has directed. I know Edwards as part of what I call the Ohio Gang — people who have worked with JR Bookwalter over the years. He played three parts, for example, in Ozone. But the two things I think are most remarkable about him is his performance in Matthew Jason Walsh’s Bloodletting and his excellent script for Bookwalter’s Polymorph.

No Ordinary Film

Based on the artwork, I figured Her Name Was Christa would be another “girlfriend back from the dead” story like in My Dead Girlfriend or Nina Forever. But it’s not.

My primary interest in psychotronic film is the desire to see things I’ve never seen before — the kinds of things that just can’t (or at least shouldn’t) attract big money. Her Name Was Christa delivers on this in spades.

The first 80 minutes of the film is relatively straightforward with an awkward middle-aged man becoming more and more involved with a prostitute. The last 40 minutes of the film makes you rethink just how reliable the narrator had been throughout.

(There is one clue in the last couple of minutes that indicates that at least the primary relationship story was real. Other parts of it are established as delusions. It’s a nice foggy mix and I think it’s best not to over-think it.)

Technical Stuff

The acting in the film is excellent. This is probably Edwards’ best performance. Newcomer Shianne Daye is shockingly good as Christa. She manages to convince me that this relationship could exist.

The whole supporting case was good too. Drew Fortier pulled off the difficult feat of being the obnoxious yet good-hearted friend. And Rick Jermain played several of my past bosses perfectly! Also: JR Bookwalter has a cameo.

Edwards directs like a writer. But I don’t mean that as an insult at all. He, cinematographer (and cameraman?) Gordon Cameron, and art director David Lange created a beautiful film with realistic but uncluttered sets, effective lighting, well-chosen shots with effective camera moves. But nothing is gratuitous. Every shot is natural with a focus on character point-of-view.

In addition, the special make-up effects by Alan Tuskes were transcendent — enough to make any old psychotronic fan believe in a loving God.

I’m divided on the editing. I thought the deliberate pacing worked great and set up what was for me a very emotional denouement. But I also think that the film could be cut down by a half-hour and that might find it’s own audience.

Impact

Of particular note is that Her Name Was Christa is fearless. Although much of it is very funny, it is never camp. James L Edwards presents this tragic and disturbing story with an unfaltering heart. There is not a hit of irony here — something both unusual and badly needed in this moment of “edgy” popular art.

At the same time, it’s clear why this film is not playing at the multiplex. It demands of the viewer. Some of the scenes are hard to watch. I don’t mean they are disgusting. (Since when was that a problem for me?) I mean they were sad. Her Name Was Christa is simultaneously uplifting and heartbreaking.

DVD Release

The film comes with two discs: a Blu-ray and DVD. The Blu-ray has the film along with a commentary track with James L Edwards. The DVD has the same as well as these extras:

  • Indiegogo campaign video
  • A video ad looking for someone to play Christa
  • Rehearsal footage
  • Original (30+ minute) video of the institutional sections
  • One deleted scene and two extended scenes
  • An on-set marriage proposal from Drew Fortier to one of the extras
  • The “haunted attraction” scene with different music
  • The full video projected at Stephen’s work.

It’s a nice package. It’s a bit weird that the extras are not on the Blu-ray, but I’m not complaining. I recommend getting the film and since it isn’t available on Amazon, I get no associates fee, so I must be honest. You can get it at Makeflix either in the 2-disc package with the Blu-ray or just on DVD for $5.00 less.

Image taken from the Her Name Is Christa Facebook page.

Recent Additions: Jan 2020

Psychotronic Review

We have a lot of films this month — partly because I finally finished off all of the films of JR Bookwalter. But I’ve also been trying to watch more films. There are so many that I feel ignorant even though I’ve watched way more films than a reasonable person has.

As you will see, I’ve gone back to films that I liked in the past. But I’ve been watching a lot more recent films. It’s easy to miss adding them to Short Takes because it’s harder to put them into any kind of perspective. It feels better to just let them marinate in my subconsciousness.

But for now, I have 31 films that were added this month with some final thoughts on them.

  • The 7th Voyage of Sinbad (1958): probably my favorite Ray Harryhausen film. This one tells a compelling story and really would work without all the animation.
  • Bless the Beasts and Children (1971): the perfect film for teenaged boys then and now. It holds up remarkably well. I still think Teft is cool and my heart bleeds for Cotton.
  • Bride of the Monster (1955): probably my least favorite Ed Wood film, it still has its moments. It could be the perfect film to introduce people to Wood because it’s only up from here!
  • The Briefcase (2011): the first feature film of Jason Krawczyk, it’s quite engaging and clever. It’s also funny. But it’s only a warm-up for Krawczyk’s masterpiece (see below).
  • Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1992): a film I love even though it is very uneven. The denouement is particularly disappointing. But the clever dialog and excellent performances make it irresistible.
  • Clash of the Titans (1981): another Harryhausen film. For some reason, I just don’t like it that much. But I suspect that says rather more about me than it does the film. It has everything you’d expect.
  • Don’t Look in the Cellar (2008): a surprisingly good no-budget with good acting. And with such a cheeky title, how can you not love it?
  • The Eyes of My Mother (2016): a Netflix production that proves death is not the worst thing that can happen to you. It features an amazing central performance by Kika Magalhaes and a simple, horrifying story.
  • Future War (1997): the result of a troubled production, I still rather like this film. At worst, it’s good to keep your film appreciation skills exercised.
  • He Never Died (2015): the best film I’ve seen in a long time. Jason Krawczyk makes everything work with a brilliant script and some idiosyncratic shooting techniques. The casting it great too — from Rollins on down.
  • Koreatown (2007): from another of my favorite writer-directors who toils in obscurity, Michael Kallio. Although not as good as Hatred of a Minute, it’s still a solid story well rendered.
  • El Mariachi (1992): the legendary $7,000 feature film. It’s just superb, regardless of its budget. I really like Robert Rodriguez’s work, and this film is as good as anything he’s done.
  • Maximum Impact (1992): a surprisingly good no-budget action film. It’s things like this that give JR Bookwalter his mystique. How did he do this?!
  • Mystery of the Wax Museum (1933): this is so much better than the Vincent Price remake — good though it is. I especially love Glenda Farrell’s fast-talking reporter.
  • Orgy of the Dead (1965): a softcore fetish film with Ed Wood’s usual obsessions. This is a really enjoyable and beautiful film.
  • Ozone (1995): JR Bookwalter’s masterpiece. Drugs are turning people into zombies and a cop tries to figure it all out before he too becomes a zombie.
  • Phantasm (1979): pure horror mixed with male bonding. It’s no wonder this film spawned 4 further films — all of them good.
  • Pietà (2012): if you’re into art films with torture and incest, this is the film for you! It’s really good with some great moments. But it’s not for everyone.
  • Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959): according to many, the worst film ever made. In fact, it isn’t even Ed Wood’s worst film. It has some interesting parts although I never feel the need to put it on.
  • Polymorph (1996): this is a really good film that combines science fiction and crime drama. Excellent script by James L Edwards.
  • Rated X (2000): a surprisingly good bio-pic about the notorious Mitchell brothers. Stylishly directed by Emilio Estevez.
  • Robot Ninja (1989): this is JR Bookwalter’s bloodiest film, and that’s saying something. The new release is far better than the original release, so if you haven’t seen it recently, you should do so.
  • Rosemary’s Baby (1968): Polanski’s classic about a woman impregnated by Satan is as effective as always. Watching it recently, I was particularly struck by the exceptional body horror.
  • Rounders (1998): although a standard melodrama, this film is just a lot of fun with all its details about the world of cards and con artists.
  • Rubber (2010): the only film I know about a tire that comes to life. This is such a clever film, I never tire (haha) of it.
  • The Rubber Gun (1977): this Allan Moyle and Stephen Lack collaboration is really compelling. It is very much like hanging out with a bunch of drug addicts for 90 minutes.
  • The Sandman (1995): a lot of people really like this film. Although there are some things I really like about it (eg, Matthew Jason Walsh’s performance), I’m not that fond of it — at least relative to other Bookwalter films.
  • The Sinister Urge (1961): one of Ed Wood’s lesser-known and better films. I prefer Jail Bait.
  • Spring (2014): this is a weird combination of horror and coming-of-age stories. It has some excellent horror moments.
  • Starry Eyes (2014): stardom presented as horror transformation. This film works well. I suspect it is also very funny for the right audience.
  • Zombie Cop (1991): my least favorite Bookwalter film. But like all of them, it has its champions.

Summing Up

Some art films have been appearing in my recent viewing with films like Pietà and Spring. That’s okay. But I’ll get back on more pure genre stuff soon, I’m sure.

I’d like to go back through classics that I haven’t added to the list like The Texas Chain Saw Massacre and Re-Animator. Soon.

Is Psychotronic Film Relevant?

Elm Road Drive-In Theatre

Last week, work was going well. For a change, I wasn’t behind. So I decided to go out and watch some matinees at the second-run theater. And it got me thinking about what the meaning of “psychotronic” is in our current cinematic environment.

I first saw Joker and then I saw Once Upon a Time in Hollywood. These are both films that could traditionally be called psychotronic. Joker is more or less a combination Taxi Driver[1] and the original Tim Burton Batman. And Hollywood is a Quentin Tarantino film, which almost by definition means it was a brilliant collage of other people’s psychotronic films.

I enjoyed both films. But they also made me sad. They have all the style of psychotronic film, but none of its subversion. How could it? Both films cost tens of millions of dollars to make. No one puts up that kind of money without expecting a return on it.

Drive-Ins

A common definition of psychotronic is a film that plays at a drive-in. The problem is that any film can play at a drive-in. I first saw Terminator 2 at a drive-in. And both the films I saw last week will play at the few hundred remaining drive-ins.

It’s probably better to say that a psychotronic film can only be played at a drive-in (or something similar). This is why psychotronic films are almost always low-budget films. Even the worst Hollywood bomb is going to make more money on the stadium theater circuit than Blood Feast cost.

The lack of budget also allows filmmakers to say exactly what they want. I don’t think there’s any doubt that David Cronenberg would have been far more successful if he had checked his obsession with biological functions. Of course, if he had done that, he would be a pretty boring filmmaker.

Marketing

Another aspect of both these films is that they had huge marketing campaigns. The rule-of-thumb for Hollywood films is that they need to make twice their budgets to be profitable because as much money is spent marketing them as making them.

I don’t doubt that both of these films would eventually have found an audience even without a massive marketing campaign — although it may have taken a while. But neither would have the kind of mass appeal they do have. Is there really a large group of people begging for a film about a mentally ill clown? Or an alternate-reality version of the Manson family murders?

Same Old

But the main thing that bugs me is that there really is nothing new here. Joker is the story of an unstable young man’s descent into madness. And that’s the best part of the film. But in order to make it sellable, it was grafted onto a comic book universe.[2]

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood is harder to parse. Is it all just in service to the revenge fantasy against the Manson family? If so, it’s Dirty Harry. If it’s all just an excuse to watch Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio, then it’s just another buddy picture.

Not that there’s anything wrong with any of this. But there isn’t anything particularly interesting about it either. That same theater was also showing Ford v Ferrari and Cats. I doubt it would have been much different. In fact, I should go to see Cats, because everyone says how horrible it is and everyone is usually wrong about everything. Then again: Andrew Lloyd Webber. Ugh!

Better Films

Last week, I also discovered He Never Died. It’s one of the best films I’ve seen in the last decade. I love everything about it. And I don’t think it is a coincidence that it had perhaps one percent of the budget of these two perfectly fine, enjoyable, professional films.

Psychotronic Review was started as a way to advocate for unusual films that didn’t have multi-million dollar marketing budgets. So that’s why I don’t generally talk about Tarantino or Marvel films around here: they aren’t unusual and they don’t need my help getting the word out.

But it does remind me that I need to remove my article about Demolition Man, given it’s only here because of the elements Daniel Waters (Heathers) added to it.

[1] Yes, I see the homage to The King of Comedy. But other than the plot elements, it isn’t much like it.

[2] The film implies that the main character is not the Joker, given it is someone else who kills Bruce Wayne’s parents. The things you have to do to get $60 million for your film!

Elm Road Drive-in Theatre by Jack Pearce. Licensed under CC BY-SA 2.0.

Maggie Mae Fish and the Problem With the Better Critics

Maggie Mae Fish

Maggie Mae Fish is an actor, producer, and writer. She is also a YouTube film critic. She is generally quite insightful when it comes to analyzing mainstream films. Even when she provides ridiculous takes, I find them interesting.

Where she fails is anytime she mentions lower-budget films. I’ve seen this a number of times where she’s dismissed Ed Wood as a director. This always makes me think that she hasn’t watched much of his work.

She notes that Ed Wood’s acting in Glen or Glenda is “heartwrenching and honest.” But later in the same video she says, “Ed Wood, the notoriously bad director, managed to tackle the subject of his own cross-dressing with more dignity than the auteur Tim Burton.” In addition to calling Wood a bad director, in what world is he not even more of an auteur than Tim Burton?!

This is a backhanded compliment at best and ultimately only present to attack another filmmaker. She doesn’t ever say why Ed Wood is bad. It’s just an assumption that she has that informs all of her work. And it’s a shame because there is very little other than conventional wisdom to back it up.

Christmas Evil

I wouldn’t have brought this up except that she made a video about one of my all-time favorite films, Christmas Evil. I want to be fair, though; she clearly likes the film. Yet the video is filled with cutting remarks that don’t make much sense.

She says:

This film is simultaneously all the things we love about the bizarre horror/Christmas subgenre, while also being a critique of capitalism, while also being bad.

She then goes on to note various things that make the film bad. But she does it in a way that makes it unclear whether she’s serious. This is good because everything she mentions is either trivial or untrue.

The only substantive claim she makes is about the editing of the company’s Christmas party. While this may be how it was edited on the VHS release of the film, this is not how it is edited in the excellent Vinegar Syndrome Blu-Ray edition.

(I’ve noted elsewhere a tendency for critics to complain about filmmakers when the problem clearly could be — and very often is — the fault of the print. This comes naturally from the critic’s inclination to nit-pick when they are determined to justify their complain that a film is “bad.”)

Just Admit You Like It Because It’s Good

Most of the rest of the review is laudatory. There are some complaints. She mentions that one scene goes on too long because of course, she’s the ultimate arbiter of that and knows far better than writer/director Lewis Jackson.

And she calls it a B-movie, which isn’t really accurate. Adjusted for inflation, it had a budget of almost $3 million. It’s lighting budget alone was over a million dollars. I consider Christmas Evil an art film that just happens to use the slasher genre.

But overall, Maggie Mae Fish shows a sincere appreciation for the film. I just wish that she and the relatively few critics like her (the rest are hopeless) would be more secure and defend what they like forthrightly. The whole “I like it but it isn’t good” pretense was annoying decades ago.

It’s now completely unacceptable.

Image taken from Maggie Mae Fish YouTube channel under Fair Use.

Strange but True Football Stories

Strange but True Football Stories With Vincent Price

I don’t have much use for the NFL but a lot of people love it. They have the wrong idea about it, though. They think it is a sports organization. It isn’t; it’s a media company. And from early on, it has produced a stream of barely watchable documentary films about the game. One of them was 1987’s Strange but True Football Stories. It is only noteworthy because it features Vincent Price.

I learned about this odd thing from Chris Ameigh at The Full Price Podcast. He tweeted out that he would love to see it. I immediately bought a copy on VHS (the only format it is available in). But it is available online in one form or another — see below.

(By the way, you should check out the podcast. It approaches Vincent Price very differently than I do. I wrote a 10,000-word article about my favorite Price film, The Last Man on Earth — because I’m a freak. The podcast deals with films but also a lot about Price himself like in Ep 6 Price and the Nazis. Check it out!) [Note: it is no longer available that I can find.]

What’s in Strange but True Football Stories?

Outside of Vincent Price, this is an entirely standard NFL documentary. Price introduces each section, speaking from a vaguely expressionistic set (really one of those faux-3D CG sets that were so popular on PBS at the time). It is only during the final segment that there is any indication that the narration he is delivering was written before they knew what was going to be in the football segments.

And none of the stories are particularly strange. You know: if you play enough games there are going to be unusual occurrences like a couple of fumbles leading to a touchdown.

Here are the segments that Price does on the VHS:

  • Introduction (1:29)
  • Coaches (0:50)
  • The Double (0:33)
  • Sideshow (0:45)
  • Mirage (1:12)
  • Immaculate Reception (0:34)
  • Conclusion (0:37)

Check out the video I’ve embedded below. It seems to be what was originally broadcast on television. It is distinct from what was released on VHS where all of Price’s narration over the football sequences was replaced by some John Facenda sound-alike.

What Was Price Doing in an NFL Documentary?

Based on my reading about Vincent Price, he had entertainment interests fairly similar to mine. So I don’t see him as much of a football fan. Apparently, his daughter said that he hated the game.

But I grew up watching Price doing similar kinds of gigs. One of my favorites was introducing a horror magician. (I’ve never located this and if anyone can provide information, I’d be most grateful!)

So I’m sure he did it for the money. People tend to forget that stars of Price’s era weren’t rich the way stars are today. Price didn’t make 3 films in Italy in 1961 because he loved the bitter cold in Rome that year! I’m sure he was doing better in 1987, but he also had a bit of an art habit by then. I like to think that he got ten grand for a few hours’ work, but I suspect it wasn’t that much.

A Review?

To me, watching Strange but True Football Stories is bittersweet. He was in his late 70s at this point. He was still very good, but it’s hard to watch our heroes age. And there’s something inauthentic about it too. What made Price so great in films like House on Haunted Hill is that his effortless elegance was itself menacing.

Here, he knows he’s supposed to be The Merchant of Menace. And he plays the role well enough. But he comes off more like a kindly old man.[1] Which I’ll take! This works really well in Edward Scissorhands.

If you are a Vincent Price freak, you’ll certainly want to own this tape. Otherwise, it isn’t worth it. Price only has 6 minutes of screen time. There are far better things he did for television like An Evening of Edgar Allan Poe.

[1] watching it, I was thinking, “It would have been great to have dinner with him and nerd-out about art.” I’m sure he would have had some insights into RH Ives Gammell.

Image taken under Fair Use.

Recent Additions: Dec 2019

Psychotronic Review

Another month, another dozen or so films. And this month, I’ve waded into some new territory — for good and ill.

As you may recall, I decided to do these posts so that people could see the new things that were happening here. But it turns out that other things have been happening on the blog.

I discovered an old Ed Wood short film, “Final Curtain.” It is interesting and shows some important things about him as a filmmaker. I also noticed what no one else did: Jenny Stevens is Ed Wood. Can it be that I’m one of the few people who actually takes Wood seriously?

Rather than wait any longer to write my grand discussion of his career, I wrote, Every JR Bookwalter Film Ranked. Bookwalter linked to it on his Facebook page and sent a huge amount of traffic over. He wrote, “To me, they’re all redheaded stepchildren, but feel free to take a stab at ranking if you dare!” My whole point of writing it was to get him to admit that Robot Ninja was better than Chickboxer…

Now onto the new additions to our Short Takes.

New Films

  • The 13th Floor (1988): a sweet revenge-horror coming-of-age film about a young woman and her gangster father. It’s one of an increasing number of films that I’ve only managed to see via a terrible print. The days of the VHS were great because stores were desperate for content so everything was released. Now lots of films, like this one have never been released on disc. Note: there are a couple of other films with the same name.
  • The Addams Family (1964-1966): the television series based on the cartoon. When I was a kid, I preferred The Munsters. But over time, I’ve come to appreciate The Addams Family more. I bought the whole series recently and I wasn’t disappointed. Carolyn Jones and John Astin are wonderful.
  • Avenging Force: The Scarab (2010): a no-budget super-hero movie. It’s kind of amazing what Brett Kelly manages to do here. It’s pretty dorky and not close to my favorite of his films. But it is something to behold. You might want to wait until it is available on Amazon Prime, however.
  • A Bucket of Blood (1959): this is the perfect film to introduce your friends to Dick Miller. And Corman does an excellent job with the material. It’s surprising that he didn’t do more comedy because he was rather good at it. It’s available for free on Archive.org.
  • Dead Man (1995): another example of how art and psychotronic film so often overlap. It isn’t a traditional narrative but it’s constantly engaging and generally very funny. There is a copy on Archive.org so you really have no excuse for not seeing it.
  • From Dusk Till Dawn (1996): most people think this is the best of the three films. I think it’s the weakest. It’s very silly yet the first have of the film is done very seriously. People are used to it but it doesn’t work as well as it does in the later films.
  • From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money (1999): this one never takes itself seriously. It’s a lot of goofy fun. And I really like Robert Patrick. I don’t think he gets enough credit.
  • From Dusk Till Dawn 3: The Hangman’s Daughter (2000): probably the best of the three, Michael Parks steals the show. It’s fun to imagine that this is what really happened to Ambrose Bierce.
  • Ghoul School (1990): despite all the problems this film clearly had, it’s quite a lot of fun. And I love the gore! Bookwalter and company may not have had a lot of money but they stepped up brilliantly. Of course, this is exactly my kind of film.
  • Going Hog Wild (1988): a series of mud-wrestling matches. I’d hoped that it would be more. It’s not exactly my kind of thing but I’m sure there is a good audience for it. See my blog post about it.
  • Scanners (1981): this was probably the first Cronenberg film I saw. And it holds up really well. A lot of things really come together in it. He managed to take the ideas of Stereo and put them into a solid thriller.
  • Singam II (2013): my first Indian action film. Although not technically Bollywood, it’s still Bollywood. I’m looking forward to watching more of these. It’s quite remarkable.
  • The Valley of Gwangi (1969): who knew that Ray Harryhausen made a western? Even apart from the animation, this film is pretty good. I prefer The 7th Voyage of Sinbad, but this one is still good.

Summing Up

It was a good month for films. I’m still trying to get the films in my personal library done but I didn’t make much progress this month. It’s more fun to add new stuff. But slowly I’ll get there.

I already have another blog post scheduled for next week. So I think that’s going to continue to happen. There’s always plenty to write about. It’s just a question of having the time.

Every JR Bookwalter Film Ranked

JR Bookwalter

Before we get started, I want to be clear about my motivations. I want to know what JR Bookwalter thinks of his films. One that has long fascinated me is just how negative he is about his own work. And in one case, this is very bad.

For decades (Really!) Bookwalter has been slandering his second feature film, Robot Ninja. In the commentary for Chickboxer, he said it was better than Robot Ninja.

Now, I have a soft-spot for Chickboxer, but let’s be real: it’s a weak film. I think it shows that Scott Plummer could be a good director — but he should stay away from action. As it is, it doesn’t compare well to Brett Kelly’s Avenging Force: The Scarab.

Robot Ninja Changes Everything

With the recent (Last!) Tempe release of a restored version of Robot Ninja, it seems that Bookwalter finally gives it the respect that fans long have. And I get it: there were always problems with the film. But it’s not like the new release suddenly made the film a gory masterpiece. It was always that! (Just ask Burt Ward!)

I have something of an obsession with micro-budget films. So it isn’t surprising that I would shine the glorious light of my film-analysis brilliance on Bookwalter. In fact, I’ve written a rather long article about The Dead Next Door that has been sitting around waiting for some final research.

But Bookwalter is hardly alone. I’m just as big a fan of Michael Kallio. And there are many others that I won’t name because I don’t want to insult him. There is something really special about films that cost little money. It allows filmmakers to fly their freak flag. And sure, Bookwalter never reached the heights of George Barry, but there’s much to delight in.

JR Bookwalter’s Films Ranked

In the following list, I have made no effort to be quantitative. These are just my gut reactions to the narrative feature films he’s directed. And certainly, I would probably change the exact order on any given day.

What I think I can say is that I consider 7 of these films to be quite good. Two of them are marginal but very watchable. And the last four, well, I love them, but they’re weak. And I say that knowing that two of these are considered by many to be classics.

Am I being unfair? Absolutely! And I’ll discuss that below.

  1. Ozone (1995): the film JR Bookwalter was born to make. It has some of his best make-up effects combined with a solid script. Also, it stars James Black, and he really is irresistible as a leading man.
  2. Kingdom of the Vampire (1990): a coming-of-age vampire picture. Matthew Jason Walsh is perfectly mopey as the protagonist Cherie Patry is wonderfully theatrical as his mother. That dynamic is what makes it work.
  3. Witchouse II: Blood Coven (2000): this is a solid film no matter how you look at it. And it gives Ariauna Albright a chance to really shine.
  4. Polymorph (1996): a great combination of horror/sci-fi and crime. The effects may not have aged well but the conflicts between the characters work as well as ever. Really: it’s up there with Night of the Living Dead in that regard.
  5. Robot Ninja (1989): in a world of almost weekly vanilla superhero films, this one stands out. It is amazingly gory and violent while also being campy in the extreme. My big problem with the modern comic-book film is that somehow Hollywood takes them seriously. Who could take this kind of thing seriously? And what about that great Terminator homage with him repairing his arm?! I still have trouble watching that.
  6. The Dead Next Door (1989): I’ll admit that I may rate this low because I’ve seen it way too many times. Of course, it doesn’t help that Bookwalter has released it with two different soundtracks and in two different aspect ratios. I still love the film. And it’s very funny.
  7. Witchouse 3: Demon Fire (2001): the position of this is one that would be different on a different day. In its way, it’s as good as the second one. I really enjoy it. I’m just not as keen on the look of the film. Really good writing and acting, regardless.
  8. Mega Scorpions (2003): I’m still shocked at how well this film turned out. I think it shows just what a professional Bookwalter is because it also seems like he really isn’t that inspired. But it works and it annoys me that it isn’t available on disc.
  9. Maximum Impact (1992): probably the best of the six-pack films. It works remarkably well, even though I had to watch it a couple of times before I could remember the plot. Films like this highlight the fact that Bookwalter’s true love is horror.
  10. The Sandman (1995): I told you I was just going for the gut. There’s lots to like about it but tonally, it’s a mess. All the geeky humor goes away after the first half. And the ending doesn’t help. I know I’m being unfair and I know a lot of people love this film. So make your own list!
  11. Galaxy of the Dinosaurs (1992): this is one of the best examples of idiosyncratic art ever made. And I understand: this was just David DeCoteau trying to make some money. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to him that the rich filmed animation of Planet of the Dinosaurs would never merge with the original video being shot. But the combination is something to behold. And Jon Killough did a great job integrating the whole thing. Whoever came up with the ending deserves a prize!
  12. Humanoids From Atlantis (1992): it was all a fake! No it wasn’t! I don’t know. This is such a silly film that it is basically impossible not to like. It is Bookwalter’s ultimate “Let’s put on a show!” film.
  13. Zombie Cop (1991): not a bad film. I just don’t connect with it. Truthfully, I think a big part of it is the choice of locations. It just looks so much like the suburbs that it is hard to take any more seriously than Humanoids From Atlantis. But it doesn’t have the charm.

JR Bookwalter’s Career in Sum

There you go. What’s interesting is that I enjoy watching all of these films. I haven’t thought about Bookwalter’s career before. It’s remarkable when you consider that the budget of all 13 films combined is only that of one normal low-budget film.

It’s a reminder of what we’d get if instead of every $100 million movie, 100 filmmakers were given a million each.

My hope is that JR Bookwalter will put out his own ranking, if for no other reason than to make up for fans having to listen to him slander Robot Ninja for such a long time.

Image taken from JR Bookwalter’s YouTube channel under Fair Use.

Going Hog Wild

Going Hog Wild (1988)

My journey to psychotronic film starts with horror. Many years ago, I wanted to revisit the great terror of my childhood, The Last Man on Earth. So I went to Movie Madness in Portland and found that it was in the Psychotronic section. That got me interested in this genre.

But the truth is that I’m not that interested in most kinds of psychotronic films. Horror is really my main love. But my wish to understand the scope of psychotronic film often finds me watching films that I wouldn’t normally. Such is the case with Going Hog Wild.

About Going Hog Wild

Made in 1988 for the huge porn video market, it offers a distinctly old-fashioned approach to sexual titillation. There is no sex in it and virtually no nudity. Instead, it offers mud (oil, chocolate) wrestling and some striptease: distinctly campy softcore porn.

I had expected Going Hog Wild to have some narrative that justified the wrestling matches, but that’s not the case. Instead, it’s a very low-budget version of a professional wrestling pay-per-view match, including the announcer and a scantly-clad man displaying the round number cards.

Behind the Scenes

One could see this all as a parody of wrestling. Of course, the same could be said of the WWE. I see it as simply a kind of good-natured fetish porn. The producers/directors are at least nominally women. I assume they are pseudonyms, but I if I had to guess, I’d say the woman who plays the ring announcer (“Deborah Winger”) was one of them.

The marketing for the film revolves around Layla LaShell, a 350-pound porn actress. She does have a great deal of charisma. Twenty-eight minutes of the 89-minute runtime is devoted to her and her opponent Headlights (“Audry W”).

It’s hard not to notice an implicit edge of fat-shaming to the whole film. But LaShell and Headlights are so self-assured that the whole thing comes off as almost an ad for Fat Pride.

Notables from the regular porn world include Tammy White and Nikki King, who are paired in the first fight.

Who Is This Film For?

Obviously, Going Hog Wild is meant for a specialized audience. It isn’t me. If it had offered a narrative, I might have loved it. But that’s not what this film is about. You really have to just find women wrestling in viscous fluids interesting.

Or maybe need to be into wrestling. Regardless, I know there are people out there who would love Going Hog Wild. And even for people like me, it has a certain appeal. A fair amount of work went into it. And parts of it are quite funny.

I’m glad to have it. Now I have a counter-example when someone complains after I’ve forced them to watch Chickboxer. Of course, they might enjoy Going Hog Wild more. And that’s valid, even if Chickboxer has actual sex in it.[1]

[1] When I first watched Chickboxer, I missed that scene they tacked on at the end. I just turned off the film after as Suscinski and Edwards walk away. It really is better that way.

Imagine taken from Phantom Pain Films under Fair Use.

Ed Wood and “Final Curtain”

Ed Wood in Final Curtain
Ed Wood in “Final Curtain”

In 1957, Ed Wood wrote, produced, and directed a 22-minute film intended to be a television pilot, “Final Curtain” for a show apparently called Portraits of Terror. It was lost for many years but was rediscovered and presented at Slamdance in 2012. It isn’t close to Wood’s best work, but it does illustrate many of his idiosyncrasies.

Plot of “Final Curtain”

The story is shockingly simple. An actor who plays “the vampire” in a play wanders around the theater after everyone is gone. He is searching for something but he can’t say what it is.

As he wanders, he is frightened by various ghostly things (mostly off-screen) including the manikin of a female vampire (played by ” Jenny Stevens”).

Finally, the actor finds what he is looking for: a coffin (which looks nothing at all like a coffin). He gets in it and closes the lid.

Cast

The actor is played by Duke Moore, who you probably know as Lt John Harper from Plan 9 From Outer Space — the guy who scratches his face with the barrel of his gun. The whole film is shot MOS, so Moore doesn’t have any dialog.

The voice-over is performed by another Plan 9 alumnus, Dudley Manlove. It’s rather good and certainly preferable to Wood’s narration, which takes his already ponderous dialog and elevates it to silly heights.

Who Is Jenny Stevens?

While watching “Final Curtain,” I was pleased to see that the female vampire manikin was Ed Wood in drag. But surprisingly, no one I could find online seemed to have notice this.

IMDb claims that “Jenny” is the same “Jeannie Stevens” who played The Black Ghost in Night of the Ghouls. And indeed, this is true. That was Ed Wood too. The site claims, “According to Paul Marco, Wood could not get Jeannie Stevens to film these scenes, so he wore the costume and acted as a replacement.” But this is not true.

“Final Curtain” was made before Night of the Ghouls. And footage from it is used, including that with “Jenny.” (Typically, the costume doesn’t match that of The Black Ghost.)

I have little doubt that Wood told Marco this story of the mysterious Ms Stevens. It’s even possible it was true for “Final Curtain.” But Wood hardly needed an excuse to dress as a woman. And what is he wearing there? Why, I think that’s angora!

What’s Wrong With Ed Wood

I’m a fan of Ed Wood. I find the award of “Worst Director of All Time” to be offensive — not least because I’m sure the people who voted for that hadn’t seen his work. Jail Bait is a perfectly good crime drama. And Glen or Glenda is nothing short of genius.

But there are things that prevented him from ever finding the kind of success he deserved. Some — like his idiosyncrasies — are also what made him great. Others were not laudable.

Every Idea Is Golden

Wood never let a limited idea get in the way of finishing a project. I know seeing things through to the end is considered an admirable quality. I personally disagree. I think it means you spend a lot of time on projects that aren’t worth pursuing at the expense of projects that are.

This led to Wood publishing upwards of a hundred novels and countless shorter pieces. It also led to “Final Curtain.” The idea really isn’t very good: a man wanders around looking for something only to learn it was a coffin and by extension, his death.

That might all be fine if Wood had an interesting story to tell throughout the journey. But he doesn’t. It’s 20 minutes of padding leading up to a mediocre denouement.

Ponderous Narration

The other major problem with Ed Wood is his tendency to over-dramatize. His narration asks us to be far more vested than we could possibly be. In Plan 9, he describes a chilling idea: that humans could be on the verge of a device that would be far more destructive than even the nuclear bomb.

Yet this is not what his narration tells us we should be worried about. Apparently, the destruction of the universe is nothing compared to space aliens creating a couple of zombies.

Meanwhile, when talking about the important issue of gender dysphoria, Wood uses matter-of-fact narration.

In “Final Curtain” we are told over and over that all this is very important. And maybe if the ending paid-off more, it would work. But it doesn’t. Instead, we walk away with the thought that a silly man must have made this film.

Ed Wood’s Positives

There has been little written about “Final Curtain.” I believe this is because most people assume Wood was talentless and they see this film as just another example. But there are things to like here.

Setting a Mood

Wood does set a mood and maintains it longer than lesser men would even attempt. This is the flip-side of his commitment to projects that are unworthy. He is committed to what he does.

Love it or hate it, there is not a hint of the irony that has destroyed so much modern cinema. Wood’s wholesomeness is a welcome antidote to this — a sign of his bravery in contrast to much modern cowardice.

A Film From Nothing

Another remarkable thing about “Final Curtain” is that Wood manages to tell a story with virtually nothing. I don’t know the story of this film, but I wouldn’t doubt the entire thing was shot in one night when he had access to this theater.

There’s no coffin? No problem! There’s a big cabinet that could conceivably be a coffin. Nothing to look at during 90% of the film? No problem! Add some overwrought narration.

Summary

You have to hand it him. Ed Wood made movies when working with almost nothing. “Final Curtain” is a good example of this. Not that fans needed to be reminded.

Afterword

Ed Wood really is an important filmmaker and his work is worth checking out. Most of his films are available for free:

The other films can generally be found elsewhere on the web. Necromania, which is a hardcore film, can be found of porn sites.