The producers of Howard the Duck knew they had a problem when they released it on 1 August 1986. I know why.

My first introduction to the character was when Howard the Duck #1 showed up at my parents’ 7-11 show. Frank Brunner created the cover. He was one of the first artists who even came close to the wonderful Jack Davis and Graham Ingels work for the EC horror comics that I was obsessed with at that time.

So when the character came to theaters, I was a little excited. Of course, I knew that it would end in tears because I loved the art — not the cynical “alpha male” character.

To all the men out there who don a cigar on the cover of Cigar Aficionado magazine, this is what I think. I don’t think of you as the cool comic book duck. I imagine you as the absurd duck in this movie! Thinking of you Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sharon Stone. Pretenders all!

The film is fine. The problem with it is the design of Howard the Duck himself. He might as well be from a lost live-action Donald Duck film from the late 1960s. And I just don’t buy the character on the screen.

It’s the same when my beloved EC comics make their way to the screen. On the page, the Crypt Keeper’s lame puns work. On the screen, they’re just silly. I think I know how to fix this though. Make all the hosts scary as hell and make their puns dark as night. But no one does that because everyone (rightly) loves the comics.

As for the film, I don’t think it can be done live action. Maybe Tim Burton could make it work. But mostly, animate it. And not animated in a normal way. Hire someone brilliant to animate it. I’m thinking of the opening of Wizards, which was done by Mike Ploog.

But if you can get past the poor character design, the film works fine. Or…

Maybe you can see everything that is wrong with this film as exactly what it should be. I mean: it’s all absurd. And this is not worse than any other Marvel comic book movie. In which case, honor it!

And if you haven’t seen it before, watch it. This is a good print you can watch without commercials for free. Let me know what you think! But don’t do that if you hate it for the obvious reasons. I already know about that and I’ll just think you’re boring. Love it or hate it — but for new reasons.

Howard the Duck deserves at least that much!

Other 1 August Anniversaries

Filmmakers

• Erle C Kenton (1896-1980): Director best known for his work at Universal in the early 1940s on films like The Ghost of Frankenstein, House of Frankenstein, and House of Dracula.
• Henry Jones (1912-1999): Distinctive character actor in films like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and Support Your Local Gunfighter.
• J Lee Thompson (1914-2002): Director of thriller and action films ranging from King Solomon’s Mines.
• Dom DeLuise (1933-2009): Character actor known for The Cannonball Run, Haunted Honeymoon, and much more.
• Terry Kiser (1939-): Actor known mostly for playing the dead title character in Weekend at Bernie’s.
• Jason Momoa (1979-): The newest Aquaman.
• Devanny Pinn (1989-): Actor who works a lot in low-budget films like The Dawn and The Black Mass.

Films

• The Pearl of Death (1944): One of the Rathbone-Bruce Sherlock Holmes films.
• Abbott and Costello Meet Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde (1953): Two American cops go to London searching for Boris Karloff.
• Voyage to the Prehistoric Planet (1965): Three spaceships set sail for Venus.
• Destroy All Monsters (1969): All the big Toho monsters are released by female space aliens.
• Space Amoeba (1970): Space aliens release monsters on Earth to conquer it.
• The Omega Man (1971): The last man on Earth fights nocturnal mutants.
• Air Bud (1997): Dog plays basketball.
• Spawn (1997): Satanic superhero.
• The Mummy’s Kiss (2003): More or less a gender reversal of The Mummy. Notably written and directed by Donald F Glut.
• Dorm of the Dead (2006): College witches bring on the zombie apocalypse.
• The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008): Third film in the series, this time in China.
• Guardians of the Galaxy (2014): Space alien criminals work together to save the universe.

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Howard the Duck (1986) poster via Wikipedia under Fair Use.