Frank Conniff is 70 years old today. That means he was born 30 August 1956.

He was TV’s Frank during seasons 2-5 on Mystery Science Theater 3000. I have complicated thoughts about that show. On the one hand, it presents low-budget films as nothing but fodder for mocking. On the other hand, it introduced viewers (including me) to a lot of great psychotronic films.

Conniff is a talented writer. I can’t call what he does on screen acting. But he is charming in his awkward delivery of lines. But I’m not highlighting him today for any of this.

During his time on MST3K, he was the guy who screened the films. People reported seeing him walking around with a tattered copy of The Psychotronic Encyclopedia of Film. You don’t do this if you don’t love the films, regardless of what happens on screen.

When I saw The Mads live, I had them sign my copy. Trace Beaulieu was very excited to see the book. Conniff wasn’t terribly excited about anything. He found all the fan service old hat. And it was new for Beaulieu. Not that Conniff was rude. I would describe him as “exhausted.”

Anyway, let’s celebrate Conniff’s birthday by watching one of his favorite films. Earlier this year, he posted his five favorite black & white films: (1) Citizen Kane; (2) Sweet Smell of Success; (3) The Night of the Hunter; (4) Dr Strangelove; and (5) Duck Soup. From this group, I have to go with The Night of the Hunter.

Happy birthday, Frank!

Other 30 August Anniversaries

Filmmakers

• Mary Shelley (1797-1951): Writer of Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus.
• Fred MacMurray (1908-1991): Actor known for playing really good guys and really bad guys in films like The Absent-Minded Professor and Double Indemnity.
• Peggy Lipton (1946-2019): Actor known for The Mod Squad but more important as the friend of Jill Banner.
• Brian Yuzna (1949-): Producer of all the Re-Animator films. He also directed my favorite of them, Beyond Re-Animator. And he produced Dolls.
• Timothy Bottoms (1951-): Actor known for Johnny Got His Gun and Invaders from Mars.
• Julian Richings (1956-): Wonderful character actor. I love him especially in Vicious Fun.
• Cameron Diaz (1972-): Actor known for some interesting films like The Mask and Being John Malkovich.

Films

• The Last House on the Left (1972): Two young women are kidnapped and tortured by psychopaths. This is the film that made Wes Craven. It was originally planned as a porn film.
• The Longest Yard (1974): The prisoners take on the guards in a prison football game. Really good film — as is the close remake.
• Relentless (1989): Two cops chase a serial killer who was a cop.
• Beastmaster 2: Through the Portal of Time (1991): Sequel to Don Coscarelli’s worst film.
• Child’s Play 3 (1991): Chucky at the military academy.
• The Crow: City of Angels (1996): The Crow is a mechanic in this second film.
• FearDotCom (2002): People die exactly two days after visiting a website. It’s X, right?
• Hood Of The Living Dead (2005): A mad scientist brings his brother back to life after a drive-by shooting.
• The Fanatic (2019): A super-fan stalks an action film star.
• Afraid (2024): AI device protects a family too much.

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Frank Conniff at Dragon*Con 2008 by Timdorr under CC BY 3.0.