On this day, 12 May, in 1965, Cineriz released A Pistol for Ringo.

I know what you’re thinking, “Another Spaghetti Western?!” Well, yes. There are a lot of great Spaghetti Westerns, and this one is among the best. It was made shortly after A Fistful of Dollars by Duccio Tessari, who had worked on that script.

It doesn’t have quite the same feel as the earlier film. But then, neither did Sergio Leone’s later films. A Pistol for Ringo comes off more like For a Few Dollars More — but as a comedy.

Duccio Tessari

I don’t think there is any doubt that Leone was the greater director. But equally, Tessari was the better writer and storyteller. I often feel that Leone gets lost in his own obsessions. Like the long rape scene at the beginning of A Fistful of Dynamite I’m not sure what the point is even supposed to be much less what it is.

What’s more, Leone’s sense of humor rarely elicits a laugh whereas Tessari effortlessly produces belly-laughs. At the same time, his films are every bit as gritty.

In A Pistol for Ringo, the title character is extremely charming. He is also a complete psychopath who loves putting people in situations where he can kill them “in self-defense.” In one scene at the beginning, he’s playing hopscotch with some kids right before gunning four men down.

And there’s no “out-drawing” others. He just kills them before they even go for their guns. And thank God! Only an idiot would try to “out-draw” someone.

There’s one other way that Duccio Tessari is better than Sergio Leone: he directed a lot more films! He made films of various genres — including one blaxploitation film (Three Tough Guys). And he still managed to make more westerns!

I admire Leone’s work. But they are often ponderous. Tessari made entertaining films and managed to be quite innovative, even if relatively few outside Italy know it. Here is an English-language version of A Pistol for Ringo. It is dubbed, no matter what language you choose. But it is easier to find good Italian-language prints.

Other 12 Map Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Edward Halperin (1898-1981): Producer of White Zombie and Supernatural.
• Wilfrid Hyde-White (1903-1991): Actor in Chamber of Horrors and on the second season of Buck Rogers in the 25th Century.
• Jesús Franco (1930-2013): Writer-director of films like Count Dracula and Oasis of the Zombies.
• Gabriel Byrne (1950-): Actor in so much, including the very funny End of Days.
• Ving Rhames (1959-): Actor known for The People Under the Stairs, Pulp Fiction, and more.
• Emilio Estevez (1962-): Actor and director known for Maximum Overdrive and Rated X.
• Deborah Kara Unger (1966-): Actor known for Crash and Silent Hill.
• Malin Akerman (1978-): Actor in The Final Girls and Watchmen.

Films:

• Cobra Woman (1944): A woman is kidnapped by her grandmother to resolve a royal dispute on Cobra Island.
• Jail Bait (1954): Ed Wood’s most straightforward film; it’s quite watchable with a clever ending.
• Day of the Triffids (1963): Meteor shower turns plants violent.
• 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968): Astronauts go to Jupiter to look for ancient aliens.
• Frankenstein and the Monster from Hell (1973): One of the two Hammer Frankenstein films not worth watching.
• Earth Girls Are Easy (1988): Two young women save three male space aliens.
• Hell High (1989): High school-based slasher.
• Night Visitor (1989): Satanists are killing prostitutes.
• The Return of the Swamp Thing (1989): Jim Wynorski’s excellent sequel to the Wes Craven original.
• Battlefield Earth (2000): Humans enslaved by space aliens fight back.
• The Grudge 3 (2009): The evil comes to Chicago.
• S Darko (2009): More time travel adventures.

---

A Pistol for Ringo (1965) poster via Wikipedia under Fair Use

On this day, 11 May, in 1927, Welsh actor Bernard Fox was born. Clearly, I’m struggling today if I’m highlighting him. Just the same, I loved him. He was a brilliant comedic actor.

I know him primarily from two television series where he had recurring roles: Hogan’s Heroes and Bewitched.

Hogan’s Heroes

On Hogan’s Heroes, he played Colonel Crittendon, the wonderfully useless British officer with far more ethics than any reasonable person would have. That show is such a great encapsulation of American arrogance.

World War II was really just the America show with some help from the British and French. And the Russians? They were somewhere around but never clearly an ally (in the form of the other great recurring character, Nita Talbot’s Marya). And another part of that was a sneering disrespect for British officers — an opinion a lot of British people probably shared.

As far as I can tell, Crittendon was the creation of the great comedy writer Richard Powell. He also seems to have created Marya. He was the only one on the show who wrote character-based stories. Sadly, both characters got only about one episode per season.

Bewitched

On Bewitched, Fox played Dr Bombay, a literal witch doctor. He had the same haughty personality of Crittendon but he was no buffoon. He was more a lady’s man, living the life and generally not pleased to be called in for emergencies.

To a large extent, Bernard Fox was typecast. That’s to be expected when you work in America and you have that kind of accent. But he was in a variety of movies through his career.

Some things I remember him for are the “House — With a Ghost” episode of Night Gallery, the third story in The House Of The Dead about insufferable detective characters, and The Mummy, one of Fox’s last roles.

He died at the age of 89 in Los Angeles.

Other 11 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Doug McClure (1935-1995): Actor in The Land That Time Forgot, Humanoids from the Deep, and more.
• Melissa Bacelar (1979-): Actor known for Pink Eye and as the host of The Scream.
• Jonathan Jackson (1982-): Actor known for Venom and Kalamity.

Films:

• M (1931): Peter Lorre plays a pedophile murderer
• Dracula’s Daughter (1936): Van Helsing fights the title character.
• Bride of the Monster (1955): Bela Lugosi is a mad scientist in this Ed Wood classic.
• The Lift (1983): An elevator computer system becomes sentient and deadly.
• Class of 1999 (1990): Robot teachers turn violent.
• Def by Temptation (1990): A succubus targets horny Black men.
• A Knight’s Tale (2001): A squire pretends to be his dead knight.
• 28 Weeks Later (2007): Sequel to 28 Days Later.
• Dark Shadows (2012): Comedic take on the gothic soap opera.

---

Bernard Fox via Wikimedia. It is in the public domain.

Meg Foster was born on 10 May 1948.

I think it is fair to call Foster a psychotronic actor. She has been in so many films that qualify. I suppose her appearance is a big part of it. She’s very attractive. But there is something about those blue eyes! They don’t look quite right.

She first appeared on the psychotronic radar in the film Welcome to Arrow Beach, where she played a homeless woman who is taken in by a brother and sister who turn out to be cannibals. It seems that 1974 was a good year for screen cannibals.

But I never saw that. I first noticed her in the four-part TV mini-series, The Scarlet Letter. She’s a great actor but she is especially good in parts where she doesn’t talk a lot. She has the kind of face that can say a lot without words.

As an adult, I know her from many psychotronic classics. She played Rutger Hauer’s wife in The Osterman Weekend. She was a witch in Masters of the Universe. And, of course, she plays the duplicitous Holly in They Live.

But I most like her as the cyborg Stell Barr in Oblivion and Oblivion 2: Backlash.

Other 10 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Gina Philips (1970-): Actor known for Jeepers Creepers, The Sickhouse, and more.
• Corri English (1978-): Actor known for Unrest and House of Fears.
• Odette Annable (1985-): Actor known for Cloverfield.

Films:

• The Phantom Speaks (1945): An executed murderer takes over a doctor.
• Bedlam (1946): The cruel warden (Boris Karloff) of an 18th-century insane asylum loses control and gets what he deserves.
• The Invisible Monster (1950): Evil genius uses invisible army to conquer the world.
• Thunder Road (1958): Robert Mitchum fights to keep his moonshine business.
• It Lives Again (1978): Sequel to the Larry Cohen classic It’s Alive.
• Terminal Choice (1985): Hospital staff are betting on patient recovery but that’s the least of it.
• F/X 2 (1991): Sequel to the popular “wrong man” thriller.
• Dead Man (1996): An accountant (Johnny Depp) comes to the Old West for a job and everything goes wrong.
• Dog Soldiers (2002): Military mission interrupted by a werewolf.

---

Meg Foster via TV Tropes under Fair Use.

Paramount Pictures released Paper Moon on 9 May 1973.

It’s one of those films where it’s hard to tell whether it is a psychotronic or art film. And indeed, it is both. Well, art? I’m a lot more clear what a psychotronic film is than what an art film is. But it was made in black and white when it didn’t need to be. That’s a sure sign of an art film.

But it’s about a con man. Not just a con man but one who preys on grieving family members who just lost a loved-one. He does it by selling them Bibles. And it’s the Great Depression. And he uses a little girl to help him.

That’s pretty damned psychotronic! And it’s a very fun film!

I sure wouldn’t be highlighting The Last Picture Show if it had been released today. Regardless of how much I admire that film I don’t find it fun — except when Cloris Leachman yells at Timothy Bottoms.

Consider 13 Frightened Girls! And in that context, Paper Moon is notable for another reason: it features a precocious little girl who doesn’t make me want to scream.

That might be due to her not being very nice. She’s unpleasant exactly the way that precocious children usually are. There’s nothing like a good unpleasant truth!

Other 9 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Albert Finney (1936-2019): Iconic actor in Tom Jones, Murder on the Orient Express, and Miller’s Crossing.
• Kevin Peter Hall (1955-1991): Actor known for playing monsters in Predator and Harry and the Hendersons.
• Chuck Russell (1958-): Director known for The Blog remake and The Mask.
• Daniel Franzese (1978-): Actor known for Killer Pad and Kill Theory.
• Rosario Dawson (1979-): Actor known for Death Proof.

Films:

• The Spider Returns (1941): Superhero action film.
• Soylent Green (1973): A cop tries to get by in a dystopian future with inequality almost as bad as we have today.
• Friday the 13th (1980): The first of this iconic franchise is just fine.
• Ice Cream Man (1995): Slasher comedy starring Clint Howard.
• The Fifth Element (1997): A cabdriver in the future helps a runaway and maybe the entire world.
• The Eye (2002): A young woman gets an eye transplant and can now see ghosts.
• A Mighty Wind (2003): The best of the Christopher Guest improv films — this time focused on folk music.
• House of Usher (2008): Creepy house film featuring David DeCoteau’s stable of beautiful young men.
• Clown in a Cornfield (2025): Clown slasher from Eli Craig.

---

Paper Moon (1973) poster via Wikipedia under Fair Use.

Universal Pictures released the revisionist western Death of a Gunfighter on 8 May 1969. It’s a good film, but that’s not why we’re talking about it today. We are talking about it because it birthed Alan Smithee.

During the production, director Robert Totten and star Richard Widmark didn’t get along. With half the film in the can, Widmark demanded that producer Richard Lyons replace Totten.

I’ve never heard the specifics of the story. In fact, it isn’t even clear if Totten was replaced or resigned. And it isn’t clear what the problem was. But it isn’t hard to see how the conflict could arise.

Totten had been toiling most of his career as a television director, and Death of a Gunfighter was his first chance to direct a well-budgeted feature film. And there’s every indication that he was using his considerable talent to its fullest extent on the film.

Meanwhile, Widmark was a star on the downside of his career. I can well see why he found the young and ambitious director annoying. Not that it was reasonable.

Regardless of what happened, Totten was replaced by the great Don Siegel. It is probably due to this that the film is uneven. But at the end, Widmark wanted Siegel’s name on the film. Siegel felt it would be wrong to do so. (He might also have been unimpressed with the final film.) And Totten certainly didn’t want his name on the film.

Alan Smithee

So the Director’s Guild of America decided to overturn their long-running policy of not allowing pseudonyms for directors. They allowed the producers to credit the “director” Allen Smithee. But this spelling was soon changed and the official spelling is now “Alan Smithee.”

Most fans will be well-familiar with this name, or as it is more usually spelled: Alan Smithee. This became the go-to name to use when a director wanted their name removed from a film.

There are other films produced earlier that IMDb lists as directed by Alan Smithee. But these were retroactively applied. For example, Fade In was produced in 1968 — before Death of a Gunfighter. But it was never released theatrically, appearing in 1973 on TV.

Other 8 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Bob Clampett (1913-1984): Looney Tunes and Merrie Melodies animator.
• Saul Bass (1920-1996): Iconic designer of movie posters like Vertigo and The Shining.
• Jack Laird (1923-1991): Producer best known for Night Gallery.
• Don Rickles (1926-2017): Comedian who had a pretty big career in film including Kelly’s Heroes and the voice of Mr Potato Head in the Toy Story films.
• Robert Dix (1935-2018): Character actor known for Blood of Dracula’s Castle, Five Bloody Graves, and more.
• David Keith (1954-): Actor known for Firestarter and Daredevil.
• Betsy Baker (1955-): Actor known for The Evil Dead.
• Jeff Wincott (1956-): Martial artist who appears in a lot of those kinds of films.

Films:

• The Corpse Vanishes (1942): Bela Lugosi “mad scientist with needy wife” film.
• The Evil of Frankenstein (1964): Third of the Hammer Frankenstein films and one you should definitely see.
• The Burning (1981): Camp slasher.
• Poison Ivy (1992): Teen worms her way into a rich family with bad intent.
• Deep Impact (1998): Comet hits Earth.
• The Lower Circle (2009): Old friends get together at a remote location, and things get complicated.
• America’s Most Haunted (2013): People who produce a ghost-hunting show encounter an actual ghost.

---

Death of a Gunfighter (1969) poster via Wikipedia under Fair Use.

Cannon Group released The Swap on 7 May 1979. It’s a fascinating exploitation film for reasons we will get to later.

I first discovered this film in 1990 in a video store. It said that it starred Robert De Niro. Well, it didn’t. It looked like De Niro had starred in some home movies when he was in college, the producers of The Swap got the rights to it and built it around this footage.

I was mostly correct. And I admire that. But the footage was actually from a regularly released feature film from 1969.

Sam’s Song

That film was Sam’s Song. It’s an art film. It tries to be very French New Wave. And it does come off a lot like Truffaut’s Jules and Jim.

It tells the story of Sam, a young documentary film editor. He goes with his rich friends to their Long Island second home. There he becomes accustomed to the ways of the rich and gets dumped by a pretty girl.

The problem is that Sam just isn’t that interesting. The script clearly thinks that Erica (Jennifer Warren) is the central character. Instead, the film flirts with its four principal characters who mostly don’t act in ways I recognize from real life.

This is generally my problem with the French New Wave. Even films I really enjoy — like Alphaville and Weekend — still suffer from too much intellectual nonsense. Taken straight, as in Sam’s Song, well, let’s just say I’m not the target audience.

What’s been really funny to me has been reading reviews. Over and over people claim that the only decent actor in this film is De Niro. From my perspective, he’s the weakest of the principals (maybe the second weakest). It’s funny to watch people spout conventional wisdom as though it were their actual opinion.

As I’ve said many times: Robert De Niro is the most overrated actor I know of. He’s really good but people talk about him as though he’s some kind of phenomenon. I even heard John Frankenheimer talk about him like that. Give me a break! He’s a professional actor who has had the good luck to work in some of the best film productions of his day.

The Swap

The Swap is about Vito who gets out of prison to figure out why his brother was murdered and to get vengeance for it. All the footage from Sam’s Song is used as flashbacks as people tell the story of what happened.

It makes for a delightfully strange film. The old footage is carefully shot and relatively complex in its editing. The new stuff is all shot with a minimum of set-ups — usually making its professional cast seem much worse than they are.

The style of the dialog is totally different as well. The new material goes with very cheeky Raymond Chandler style. Of course, most people hate this film. And that’s fair enough: it’s not a Robert De Niro film. And frankly, this would be a better film if it didn’t even use the material from Sam’s Song.

But with it, it’s a bizarre gem.

Other 7 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Val Lewton (1904-1951): Producer of Cat People and I Walked with a Zombie.
• Ishirô Honda (1911-1993): Director known for Godzilla, Rodan, and so many more Toho productions.
• Darren McGavin (1922-2006): Actor best know for the title role in Kolchak: The Night Stalker.
• Albert Band (1924-2002): Producer and father and father of Richard and Charles Band.
• Ruggero Deodato (1939-2022): Director of Cannibal Holocaust and more.
• Traci Lords (1968-): Actor in Excision and Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre.
• Carrie Henn (1976-): Newt in Aliens.

Films:

• The Black Cat (1934): The first film to feature Karloff and Lugosi; the latter seeks revenge from the former.
• Taste the Blood of Dracula (1970): The fifth of the Hammer Dracula films; I consider it the worst.
• Gamera: Super Monster (1980): Space turtle.
• The Mummy (1999): Treasure hunters face a supernatural force.
• Van Helsing (2004): The standard Dracula story as an action film.

---

The Swap (1979) poster via Wikipedia under Fair Use.

Universal Pictures released Bride of Frankenstein on 6 May 1935. They also previewed it in select locations in April. And they released it in limited theaters on 20 April. It also premiered in Canada on 3 May.

I have a very special memory of this film. When I was eight-years-old, I watched it on television with my older brother and sister. And it frightened me so much that I vomited.

It’s shocking to me now because it’s the sweetest film. The one scene that most stands out to me is when the Monster and Bride sit together and he pats her hand. Then he sees her reaction, and he’s heartbroken.

“She hate me. Like others.”

But everything about the film is a joy. I don’t think that Ernest Thesiger has gotten enough credit as Dr Pretorius. There aren’t many actors who could make you believe they would really have a picnic in a crypt.

He’s especially great up against Colin Clive as Dr Frankenstein, who spends the whole film whining about what he’s doing. The truth is, I’d rather he and Elizabeth had died at the end, and the others had lived. Imagine how great the sequels would have been with Dr Pretorius!

I now consider Bride of Frankenstein to be a feel-good film — something I put on when I’m feeling down. I recommend getting Frankenstein: The Legacy Collection, which includes the first five films. The last three aren’t as good but they are still worth watching — especially for Bela Lugosi in the third and fourth films. (Note that this collection lacks the fifth film, Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man. Consider this a kindness. It is by far the weakest of the set.)

Other 6 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Gaston Leroux (1868-1927): Author of the novel The Phantom of the Opera.
• Rudolph Valentino (1895-1926): Silent film heartthrob.
• Orson Welles (1915-1985): Director of Mr Arkadin, Touch of Evil, and more.
• Anne Parillaud (1960-): The original La Femme Nikita.
• George Clooney (1961-): Actor known for From Dusk To Dawn, O Brother, Where Art Thou? and others.

Films:

• Mandrake, the Magician (1939): Strange superhero film.
• Black Sabbath (1964): Mario Bava horror anthology (US release).
• Jack’s Back (1988): Serial killer film starring James Spader.
• Dead Heat (1988): Zombie cop comedy.
• Phantasm III: Lord of the Dead (1994): Third adventure with The Tall Man.
• Attack of the Flesh Devouring Space Worms From Outer Space (1998): Rural southerners try to withstand an alien attack.
• Zombie Campout (2003): Zombie comedy.
• Satan’s Little Helper (2004): Boy befriends serial killer.
• House of Wax (2005): Slasher set in a town made of wax.
• Housewives From Another World (2010): One of Fred Olan Ray’s horror sex comedies.

---

Bride of Frankenstein (1935) poster via Wikimedia. It is in the public domain.

Jack Pierce was born in Greece on 5 May 1889.

Only real obsessives know who Pierce was. But everyone knows his work. He created the makeup for all the iconic Universal horror monsters. The most important is Frankenstein’s monster. At this point, the look of the monster is more important than the novel itself. And modern designs are always reflecting it. (This is also partly due to intellectual property law — at least until 2027!)

Pierce started as an actor in silent films — in addition to doing other stuff on productions. He started doing makeup in the late 1920s. His first notable film was The Monkey Talks, where he created a design that would not look out of place in Planet of the Apes. He also created the incredibly creepy makeup for The Man Who Laughs.

At that time, Lon Chaney Sr was the makeup master at Universal. But he left the studio in 1928. So Universal made Pierce the head of its makeup department. Despite this title, he did most of the important work himself.

Jack Pierce’s first design for the Frankenstein monster was based on the 1920 German film, The Golem: How He Came into the World. That featured a pageboy hairstyle, which is more in keeping with the character’s presentation on stage and in the 1910 silent film version. This seems to have been the design that Bela Lugosi screen-tested with. If so, it is hard to blame the man for passing on the role.

Pierce also created the looks of The Mummy and The Wolf Man. He also popularized the use of the widow”’s peak hairline — something that was still iconic in the 1960s with Eddie Munster.

Universal fired Pierce in 1946 after he had given it two decades of service. No one really knows why. But he went on to work as an independent — mostly in lower budget films. And then he made the move to TV. He spent the last four years of his career as makeup artist on Mister Ed.

Let’s watch one of Jack Pierce’s non-Universal films, which features an incredible widow’s peak, White Zombie.

Other 5 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Charles Lamont (1895-1993): Director of several Abbott & Costello horror-comedies.
• Joseph Stefano (1922-2006): Screenwriter of Psycho.
• Michael Murphy (1938-): Actor in Phase IV and Shocker.
• Lance Henriksen (1940-): Actor in Aliens and Pumpkinhead.
• John Rhys-Davies (1944-): Actor in Raiders of the Lost Ark and sequels.
• Richard E Grant (1957-): Actor in Withnail and I and Warlock.
• Henry Cavill (1983-): Hunk who has starred as Superman.

Films:

• Brainstorm (1965): Noir about a bad romance.
• The Evil (1978): A doctor buys a house to start a rehab clinic and unleashes a demon.
• Return of the Boogeyman (1994): A woman has prophetic nightmares.
• Gladiator (2000): A gladiator gets revenge for the murder of his family.
• Final Stab (2001): Fake murder game turns real.
• Cryptz (2002): Rappers go to strip club full of vampires.
• An American Haunting (2005): A 19th-century family is haunted.
• Mission: Impossible III (2006): Another impossible mission.
• The Jack in the Box (2020): Evil jack-in-the-box toy.

---

Jack Pierce via IMDb under Fair Use.

After countless previews, Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures released Marvel’s The Avengers in the United States of 4 May 2012. It was part of a continuing effort to destroy a great democracy.

Movie Cliches

Over years of watching way too many movies, I have a long list of movie cliches that annoy me. These are most definitely not things like people never saying “goodbye” before they hang up the phone. Only a much worse pedant than I would have a problem with that. What I’m talking about are offensive narrative devices — things that would never fly in a novel.

One of these showed up in all its glory in Marvel’s The Avengers. Agent Phil Coulson dies. And everyone is very sad. In fact, Nick Fury uses Coulson’s blood-stained Captain America cards to bind the team together to take on the Chitauri army. They do this in less than an hour. And everyone is happy, apparently having had their memories of Coulson erased. But that should be easy enough to do. After all, Coulson wasn’t a character; he was a plot device.

It reminds me of a line from Laurie Anderson’s song “Big Science,” “I think we should put some mountains here. Otherwise, what are the characters going to fall off of?” Put mountains up so the characters can fall from them or kill a character so the characters can bind themselves together. But at least in the former case, after the characters fall off the mountain, the mountain is still there.

Silly Concept

Marvel’s The Avengers is written (along with Zak Penn) and directed by Joss Whedon. And it is not nearly as bad as it could have been. The half of the film that is played as humor works quite well as entertainment. I suspect that this is due to Penn, who is a funny guy.[1] Overall, the film holds together well enough — especially when you consider what a stupid concept The Avengers is: a Norse god, a billionaire in a high tech suit, a guy from the 1940s with a souped-up body, a ninja spy, an expert archer, and a green monster. Seriously: the parody Mystery Men features a much more coherent team.

The other half of the film is superhero action. These scenes do have the advantage that the characters are, you know, superheroes instead of, say, Sherlock Holmes. But this doesn’t change the fact that they are boring. Iron Man has to fix a turbine, and Captain America has to pull the red lever at just the right time. Otherwise, Iron Man will get cut to pieces. As you might imagine, I was not wondering if Iron Man was going to be cut to pieces. First, his suit protects him from everything. Second: right! Like Captain America — a character so earnest he shits puppies — would ever let anyone down.[2]

The same thing happens at the end of the film when Iron Man is in the other universe. The only question was whether he would make it out in the nick of time or be caught so that he could escape in Iron Man 3. Spoiler: Iron Man 3 was not about Tony Stark’s escape from wherever the hell that place was.

Noble But Useless Military

The film is schizophrenic in this portrayal of the military. This isn’t a surprise: Americans are just the same. They think that the government can’t do anything right at the same time they worship the military as God’s perfection on Earth. So we get all kinds of scenes of dashing men and women in uniform with their shiny high-tech weapons who are unfortunately just not up to the threat they face.

So, the romantic (super) heroes step in to save the day. Joseph Goebbels would have loved this film: it tells people they are free at the same time that it shows them they must yield to their betters: the übermenschen — people like Hitler, Stalin, Stephen Miller. Loki is the villain, not because he wants to enslave the people, but because he likes the idea. What differentiates Loki from Thor is style, not content.

Pernicious Propaganda

Films like Marvel’s The Avengers are pernicious. People let them wash over their minds. But the themes build up and stick. They tell people that the way to a more perfect society is not through joint action; it is through belief in superheroes who will protect us.

This is exactly what every modern despot has ever told the people he controls. Many have noticed the tendency of the elite in this country to be anti-democratic. Long before we saw widespread voter suppression laws, I heard conservatives grouse that the ignorant should not be allowed to vote. (Not surprisingly, I have heard this from some of the most ignorant people around; better someone who gets news passively than someone who gets news actively from the countless propaganda outlets.) It is only through faith in ourselves as a group that we can bring about a more perfect future.

But Entertaining Propaganda

As entertainment, Marvel’s The Avengers works well enough, and much better than Iron Man 2. Its two-plus hours go by quickly. The 45-minute segment on the floating warship that is mostly comedy is quite good. Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner (Hulk) is a nice take on the character — at least until the third act. Robert Downey Jr was as good as could be hoped for in a role that had many good lines. And Samuel L Jackson’s performance was on-brand.

On a film of this size, it’s hard to say who is responsible for its look. But it looks the way Whedon’s projects always look: cyberpunk without the style. Some of the special effects looked good, but I noticed a lot of obvious compositing. Technically speaking, the film was what you would expect for this kind of budget: professional and uninspired.

If you like these kinds of movies and can deal with the thematic problems, have at Marvel’s The Avengers. You’d be better off supporting filmmakers who don’t have $220 million to tell a story you could get from a comic book. But I won’t judge you. I like a lot of films that are equally problematic.

Normally, I provide an embed of the movie I highlight. I can’t. Disney has locked down even the Russian sites. And if this is your thing, you probably already own it. If not, buy it.

Other 4 May Anniversaries

This was not a great date! Otherwise, I would not be talking about a Marvel film. It is what it is!

Filmmakers:

• Richard Jenkins (1947-): Character actor you’ve seen all over including in The Cabin in the Woods.
• Pia Zadora (1954-): Psychotronic fans know her for Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
• Mary Beth McDonough (1961-): Star of Midnight Offerings and Mortuary.
• Emily Perkins (1977-): Star of Ginger Snaps.
• Gracie Gillam (1992-): Actor known for Superhost and The Vampire Diaries.

Films:

• The Hound of the Baskervilles (1959): Hammer’s take on the classic.
• The Shape of Things to Come (1979): Moon colony is attacked.
• Sixteen Candles (1984): Teen comedy by John Hughes.
• Tales From The Darkside: The Movie (1990): Horror-comedy anthology.
• The Mummy Returns (2001): Seven years later, we get a new mummy but roughly the same film.
• And Then They Were Dead… (2004): A mysterious dinner party causes everyone to go crazy.
• Spider-Man 3 (2007): The third of the Raimi Spider-Man films.
• God of Vampires (2010): A hitman is contracted to kill a mobster who is also a vampire.
• Meadowoods (2010): College students plot a murder.

---

[1] His fake director’s commentary on Incident at Loch Ness is one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard.

[2] When Thor first shows up and rushes away, Captain America is going to go after him. One of the two female characters warns him not to go because Thor is a god. The Captain says, “There’s only one God, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t dress like that.” Please! Even apart from the special pleading (“Those Norse and their silly myths; why didn’t they believe our myths?”), this is such pandering. And from an atheist writer/director!

Marvel’s The Avengers (2012) poster via Wikipedia under Fair Use.

Gramercy Pictures released Barb Wire throughout the United States on 3 May 1996. Other distributors released it at the same time in Canada, Ireland, and the United Kingdom.

It’s a slightly awkward retelling of Casablanca with the genders switched. And it’s a lot of fun if you don’t get hung up on it.

Gleiberman Hates It!

Speaking of which, enemy of the site Owen Gleiberman wrote a review of Barb Wire for Entertaining Weekly (before he was soiling the pages of Variety). It shouldn’t surprise you that he hated the film. He doesn’t like film. I’m not sure why he chose his profession.

But maybe you need to see things in a relative way. He wrote, “Barb Wire is livelier than the recent futuristic duds Johnny Mnemonic and Tank Girl…” Since I like those two films quite a lot, maybe I should think he admires Barb Wire? Alas: he hates film.

Everyone Hates It!

Of course, Barb Wire was hated by almost all professional critics. And it’s odd because the film is exactly what it means to be. It’s not like it was trying to be The English Patient and somehow came out wrong.

It’s a stylish action film meant to highlight Pamela Anderson’s body. But most reviews I’ve found don’t make the case for it being bad. They just complain that it is.

One exception is Derek Adams at Time Out, who said, “The film’s haphazardly edited, lacks narrative clout, and rambles on to a ludicrously extended conclusion.” Let me respond:

• What does it mean to be “haphazardly edited”? I think what he means to say is that it is competently edited in a style he doesn’t like.
• Does The English Patient have “narrative clout”?
• I assume any film without “narrative clout” necessarily “rambles” so I’ll skip that.
• It’s hard to think much about the length of its third act given what is going on today.

A Psychotronic Winner

I’m not a huge fan of Barb Wire, but it’s a great example of psychotronic film. There’s no missing it. It doesn’t matter how much money you shove at some projects, they are gloriously destined for the drive-in, VHS, and torrent — depending upon the time.

Plus, any film with Udo Kier must be psychotronic!

Other 3 May Anniversaries

Filmmakers:

• Mary Astor (1906-1987): Actor best known for The Maltese Falcon.
• Chris Mulkey (1948-): Actor in The Hidden and Ghost in the Machine.
• Ben Elton (1959-): British comedy writer mocked by Steward Lee.
• Amy Steel (1960-): Actor known for Friday the 13th Part 2 and April Fool’s Day.
• Bobby Cannavale (1970-): Actor known for Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle.

Films:

• Atlantis, the Lost Continent (1961): Greek epic from George Pal.
• Terror of the Bloodhunters (1962): Prison break film.
• She Freak (1967): Remake of Freaks with a better ending; produced by David F Friedman.
• A Bay of Blood (1972): Mario Bava Giallo.
• The Craft (1996): Catholic high school girls in trouble… with witchcraft.
• Spider-Man (2002): Sam Raimi does Marvel.

---

Barb Wire (1996) poster viaWikipedia under Fair Use.